毕业前，我
总是想着有多久我才能毕业？
多久才能脱离政府的评估考试？
多久才能奔向我自己向往的未来？
多久才能自由的做每一样想做的事？
多久才不需要每天与不喜爱的科目约会？
我为了一些事苦恼了很久很久，
可是只要想着、倒数着、等着...
就会非常想要好好地度过毕业前的每一天。
就在这２０１３，中五也即是中学生涯的最后一年，
突然在生活中有了很大的变化。
不知何时，社交广泛了，人际关系变好了，认识的朋友多了。
渐渐的，我开始将自己改变，让自己变得更好，变得让每个人觉得我其实很容易相处。
对，或许对每个人来说，其实我可以很容易相处，但有时候我会让人摸不透脑子里究竟想什么？我承认自己是一个很奇怪的人，不止性格古怪，脾气也很不稳。
在每个人面前都有不一样的一面，这....就是我。
没想到，短短的两年，我认识了，了解了，学到了，成熟了...
开始对一些朋友敞开心胸，把隐藏在心里的秘密，一个一个的脱口而出。
或许朋友们会觉得我有时候很烦，有时候莫名的EMO，有时候会做出让人意想不到的事。
但是当你看见我的每一面....我只会对你说
：恭喜你，认识到真正的我，但却又不是真切的我。
毕业前，我总是希望着每一个朋友，都能永远的在毕业后把我记在心里，因为我对朋友的要求总是不高，平凡就好。
以前的我总是认为，我不需要太多的朋友，只要有一个真正的朋友，生活就可以多姿多彩...
可是，我错了，朋友，不能只有一个因为唯一的朋友并不是只有“你”才是他/她唯一的朋友，他们也有别的朋友，自己的生活...就这样我总是一个人，独来独往的，虽然会有孤单的感觉，不过我会告诉自己，一下子就过了。就这样过了三年，可是最后一年，我特别特别的敏感，特别的不想自己一个人，特别的想有疯狂的感觉，不是因为想法通了，而是我知道，最后一年了，应该快乐的渡过每一天..
很高兴的，在毕业前，我和朋友们都建立了不错的关系，还有...他。
不知为什么，我真的很开心，在我毕业前，可以认识到他，只是我没想过，我会喜欢上一个以往从不接触过的人。是缘份吧？我想，是的。
毕业前几天，几乎跟每个认识的人都有了一张合照，而他的却不多。他很忙，总是不怎么在班上，好不容易有机会了，我便向他要求一张合照，只是当时的我们不知为什么却有种别扭又奇怪的感觉。拿着照相机的ｌｕｍ不断的笑着，身旁的人也不知为何地笑着，让我尴尬极了。不过，我们都不知道他们在笑什么。就这样，有了一张合照。
从去年，我就很想看他跳舞，可是每一次都没有机会。在半年前他举办的第二届吉他演奏会，我也没机会看见他跳舞时的那一段，因为很不巧的我离开座位到科学学会帮忙去了。可是当我忙到一半，突然头头的跑了出来，回到那一间课室。刚巧我回来时，他却跳完了。啊...又再次Missed 了！认为着自己不会有机会观赏他跳舞时，却在毕业前我得到了这机会。5S5的朋友一同到Studio去排练舞蹈。当轮流到他与他的组别一起排练时，我打起十二分精神专著的看着。我其实很佩服他，不需要老师的教导，向朋友学习就可以将舞蹈跳得不错。当轮到我与我的组别跳舞时，说实在的我并不是不想跳，因为我不知道怎样在别人面前跳。我很容易尴尬，很容易的害羞，虽然自己一个人跳时，却会做出通过MV所看到的舞姿。我总是会很随便的在别人面前跳，而且还是面无表情的那一种，这让我很懊恼为什么就不会勇敢一些？
终于，我放胆的跳了，但我不看别人，只看镜子里的自己，尽量不与别人眼神交流，因为我一定会停下所有的动作，不敢跳。
我总是会怀疑自己的能力，然后再跳出来的那一刻我会惊讶得看着自己，原来我其实也可以跳得像他们一样，这让我对自己信心大增。
就这样，毕业的那一天，我过得很愉快，虽然分离但我却没有想哭的感觉？大概我真的成熟了...
毕业后，
我们忙着准备面对我们认为最大的战争，也就是SPM。在那一段期间我们都很忙，没有时间说话、聊天。可是我却不懂为什么总是觉得有一股冲劲让我想去见他的感觉，所以几乎放学时都会跑去找他，即使是一下子也好。
考完试后的我们没有怎么联络，因为不懂怎样找他，找了也不懂该说些什么。
还记得毕业前，朋友们都问我：＂你还不告诉他吗？＂然后我就很有信心的说道：“我会的，但那是毕业后的事，现在专注学业先。” 可是我却没想到，考华语的前几天，我完全没有想要复习的感觉....那时候的感觉很糟糕，让我觉得自己很没用...不过，最后还是不断的鞭策自己读书...还好最后还是读了，确实放心了一些...
就这样，当天考完了华文后，就到了我们5S5 所谓的Party. 那天晚上，我还记得bobo他们不断地催我要我向他告白，可是我却没做到，因为我担心不成功，我们的友谊就变质了。可是最后我还是在毕业旅行时说了。虽然我并没有完全的说出，而且用了另一种方式来表达，然后答案果然如我猜测的一样，我们并没有在一起，只是没想到他在隐约中告诉我，他也喜欢我。 =)
****S5's Friends, Im going to confess everything on you by video, please look up video next time =D
Only By SeCretPinki____Xian 13/12/2013 Friday 10.57pm
Friday, December 13, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
✖Confess✖
What should I do? What I feel?
Everyone suggested are different...
Some are thinking that as a girl I shouldn't confess anything else
because this depends on either we are worth to be loved by someone or love others.
There is less than 5 days..and we..are going to separate and leave our school.
Yeah, I'm graduated, and almost finish my SPM as well.
Before graduation,
There is lot of my friend asking me, either do or not do.
I looked at them, and I told them I will do it after finished SPM.
And now, I'm going to finish it soon.
What should I do?
this questioning me all the time before I can finish my last subjects.
Before graduation,
our relationship is getting better,
I'm glad i really met him for the last two years staying in my secondary school,
he did made a lot of memorable day for me.
One of my friend did ask me : "Is he so charming?"
Alright, this question really surprised me.
Yeah, for me he is charming.
Don't ask me for reason, because I think I couldn't answer.
I did promised others I will tell him,
but if i do, will he accept?
Will I being treat as good as well?
This troubles me.
What sould I do?
Confess or Not Confess?
Troublesome..
Only by SeCretPinki_________Friday early morning 12:35am. 29/11/2013
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Love Can Be Simple ^
From the start I knew someone,
I don't ever think that He could be that important to me.
When we still busy looking out others,
Those friends around us can be important to us.
When I enter a normal life,
without thinking about the complicated relationship among others and I,
And out of Sudden,
I realize I liked to smile at someone who I'm not close with.
Not because smile to cope but just a simple smile without reason.
I could still remember every time i met someone,
and I like to smile at someone every time met,
If you asked me why?
I could only answer you with no reason.
Because I also don't know why.
Since someone asked me,
I started to think and asked, why?
Lastly, I found that I like to smile because of the smile,
the cuteness, the brightness, positive mind and more...
Yeah, maybe for you it's very normal,
but for me, it's special,
I like simple more than complicated.
A complicated relationship would make you bored,
make you tired, and out of control.
A simple relationship no matter it's friendship or anything,
you could find that it's always the best feeling you ever had.
Do you know?
when walking, talking, chit-chatting, playing.....
It could make you feel good, when the topic is as simple as life.
The suggestion, opinion, sharing and more,
could make you a different life.
It's great when watching someone smiling and doing some funny things.
Our topic always the simple the better,
much more related to life,
dreams, future, and more.
I enjoyed it every times, every moment,
I missed it much,
just like the best moment i ever had.
Couldn't forget those times during the classes.
Almost everybody are fall asleep in class,
and what?
he said, today is our sleeping day.
that face, step in the heart.
just like a scar, leave it there forever and ever.
I could remember the way he talked to me,
the way he listened to me,
the way he look.
Love,
can be complicated,
can be hard,
can be sorrow,
can be happy,
can be stress,
But
Love,
can Also be simple. ^
Only by SeCretPinki______________Saturday 15.06.2013 8.14pm
I don't ever think that He could be that important to me.
When we still busy looking out others,
Those friends around us can be important to us.
When I enter a normal life,
without thinking about the complicated relationship among others and I,
And out of Sudden,
I realize I liked to smile at someone who I'm not close with.
Not because smile to cope but just a simple smile without reason.
I could still remember every time i met someone,
and I like to smile at someone every time met,
If you asked me why?
I could only answer you with no reason.
Because I also don't know why.
Since someone asked me,
I started to think and asked, why?
Lastly, I found that I like to smile because of the smile,
the cuteness, the brightness, positive mind and more...
Yeah, maybe for you it's very normal,
but for me, it's special,
I like simple more than complicated.
A complicated relationship would make you bored,
make you tired, and out of control.
A simple relationship no matter it's friendship or anything,
you could find that it's always the best feeling you ever had.
Do you know?
when walking, talking, chit-chatting, playing.....
It could make you feel good, when the topic is as simple as life.
The suggestion, opinion, sharing and more,
could make you a different life.
It's great when watching someone smiling and doing some funny things.
Our topic always the simple the better,
much more related to life,
dreams, future, and more.
I enjoyed it every times, every moment,
I missed it much,
just like the best moment i ever had.
Couldn't forget those times during the classes.
Almost everybody are fall asleep in class,
and what?
he said, today is our sleeping day.
that face, step in the heart.
just like a scar, leave it there forever and ever.
I could remember the way he talked to me,
the way he listened to me,
the way he look.
Love,
can be complicated,
can be hard,
can be sorrow,
can be happy,
can be stress,
But
Love,
can Also be simple. ^
Only by SeCretPinki______________Saturday 15.06.2013 8.14pm
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Life 2
Yeah, my mid-term exam is just over, but I guess my result wasn't that good. Sighs.
Well , lets talk about what had happened in this months.
Day 1.
It was just finished. And you guess what? I was late to go school on the second day. It was funny that I woke up myself on Thursday around 9am. And luckily I get transport to go school without wearing school uniform but UBK's T-shirt. Firstly,when I reach there, I don't know where should I go actually because I not dare to attend my class as I'm already late and came with TH.
So, I decided to go other places like library to do something's. Luckily I found out my teacher and I ask her some question. After that, I went to nearby classes which is 5S1 to find someone. Well, I spend some times there but lastly I went to library to find my cousin for some work and get information.
And it was recess time, I ran down from library and head to canteen. And what you think I did? I was running around the school and finding my junior but I can't found. So I went back to my class and pass the class fees to my friend as it was my job. Fortunately, my junior pass through my class when I'm around after the bells rang. And then, our classmates start to pack their bags and heading to dataran as our school were helding a small concert by ONE FM.
As I was still in the classroom. He came back and he asked me that he thought I was absent today. For sure, I explained as well as I explained to others friend before. And so on, all of us heading to the dataran. That day I got tuition, and I thought my friend will present in school but what? She absent ! And she don't even told me. I feel so embarrassing. It was not the first time she did that, sighs.
As I thought I'm going to be walked alone to tuition. But after that I got the chance and asked him may I followed them to tuition because I don't want to walk alone again... And he said okay. But after I found UBK had celebrating the end of our camp and the event. I not dare to ask him about the walking to tuition. And you think what ? "Someone" did like to help me ask, and his answer is still okay.
I was surprised and can't describe the feeling of OmG! What?! After the finished of event, he called me to make sure am I still in school. And I was feel sorry and much thankful to him as he say he can wait me until the event finished. He ate in school and accompany me go tuition without his friends around. I wonder how sorry I was toward him and his friends. Sighs.
We chit chat while walking and he did helped me carry somethings although i didn't ask him to did so. How nice he was. While we walk on the half way toward tuition, my teacher and his friend's mother saw us and asked us to sit their car as she said she can fetch us go tuition. Well, I was surprised again and can't believe that will met teacher there. Can't even describe the feeling. It was so...... But anyway, really thanks him much. =D
Only by SeCretPinki______26.05.2013
Well , lets talk about what had happened in this months.
Day 1.
It was just finished. And you guess what? I was late to go school on the second day. It was funny that I woke up myself on Thursday around 9am. And luckily I get transport to go school without wearing school uniform but UBK's T-shirt. Firstly,when I reach there, I don't know where should I go actually because I not dare to attend my class as I'm already late and came with TH.
So, I decided to go other places like library to do something's. Luckily I found out my teacher and I ask her some question. After that, I went to nearby classes which is 5S1 to find someone. Well, I spend some times there but lastly I went to library to find my cousin for some work and get information.
And it was recess time, I ran down from library and head to canteen. And what you think I did? I was running around the school and finding my junior but I can't found. So I went back to my class and pass the class fees to my friend as it was my job. Fortunately, my junior pass through my class when I'm around after the bells rang. And then, our classmates start to pack their bags and heading to dataran as our school were helding a small concert by ONE FM.
As I was still in the classroom. He came back and he asked me that he thought I was absent today. For sure, I explained as well as I explained to others friend before. And so on, all of us heading to the dataran. That day I got tuition, and I thought my friend will present in school but what? She absent ! And she don't even told me. I feel so embarrassing. It was not the first time she did that, sighs.
As I thought I'm going to be walked alone to tuition. But after that I got the chance and asked him may I followed them to tuition because I don't want to walk alone again... And he said okay. But after I found UBK had celebrating the end of our camp and the event. I not dare to ask him about the walking to tuition. And you think what ? "Someone" did like to help me ask, and his answer is still okay.
I was surprised and can't describe the feeling of OmG! What?! After the finished of event, he called me to make sure am I still in school. And I was feel sorry and much thankful to him as he say he can wait me until the event finished. He ate in school and accompany me go tuition without his friends around. I wonder how sorry I was toward him and his friends. Sighs.
We chit chat while walking and he did helped me carry somethings although i didn't ask him to did so. How nice he was. While we walk on the half way toward tuition, my teacher and his friend's mother saw us and asked us to sit their car as she said she can fetch us go tuition. Well, I was surprised again and can't believe that will met teacher there. Can't even describe the feeling. It was so...... But anyway, really thanks him much. =D
Only by SeCretPinki______26.05.2013
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✖About Me✖
- SeCretTruth
- Malaysia
- ιιm hx. who call carrιe. who like nature =) inform u-- Don't compare yourself with others, but compare with yourself •‿• Let's move on for our future!