✖by_Carrie✖

ιιм мs. pιпkii =) ωɛℓcσмɛ тσ ριиκι'ƨ вℓσɢ , ℓιиκ мιι as ριиκι ιғ ʋ ∂σи'т мιи∂ =Ɖ Glad to see you here... =) 528

Friday, December 20, 2013

✖不想长大__给那个你✖

怎么办?
17岁的我....不想长大。

小时候不断地期待着长大后的自己,可是现在,
毕业了,却不想长大了。

看着时光不断地流逝,
我们人类,依然是追着时间,不断与它赛跑。

此刻的我,好想让时间停留在这一刻。
完美的一刻。

17岁的天空,很漂亮,却隐藏着无法预测的未来。
即将步入社会的少年们,此刻的想法是什么?

我,不想长大
长大后,与朋友见面的机率变少了。
欢乐时光只能成为完美的回忆,
幼稚、可爱、顽皮……
那些即将不属于我们。

未来,还有机会在遇见他吗? 
这让我很怀疑,
不过我真的很希望我们的缘分是永远的,不会断的。=)

未来的路,
或许很坎坷,或许我们的距离会很遥远,
可是我觉得我的记忆里很不错,可以永远地把他记在心里。
请不要觉得对不起我,
因为我不会接受对不起,
而且我觉得很值得,并不会感觉浪费啊。

很感谢上天让我在毕业前认识了你,
因为你,中学时期变得与我预期中不一样,
而且很特别。

确实,有时候的我会莫名的傻笑,
好像花痴。
不过,还好没人发现。(heh) 

想起每一次你进班的时候,虽然大多都接近迟到的时间,
可是你总会对我微笑。
不知道何时开始习惯了?我总是很期待你进班的那一刻。
可是,有时候的我很别扭,明明知道你进班了,我却不抬头看你,有时候甚至都不对你微笑做回应。现在想起来都觉得可惜。
那时候的我怎么了?为了不想让班上的人发现到我对你的好感吗?大概是吧。
可是,尽管我再怎么隐藏,终究还是会被发现的。
这是老师告诉我的。
果然,被身边的朋友发现到了。

不过,我想那时的你还不知道。

刚建起的友谊,我并不想毁掉。
这是我第一次的想法。
因为,即使喜欢一个人,要在一起,并没有想象中简单啊....
而且,不懂为什么,我总是有一种,只要默默喜欢你就好的感觉。

在毕业前后,很多很多的回忆不断在脑中播放着。
我还记得你将手机里的一张照片显示给我看,然后问我:"你猜这是谁?"
当我看见照片里伏在桌上的那女孩,我顿时很惊讶,你何时将它拍下来的?让我好讶异。
只要一眼,我就看得出照片里的女孩是谁,但是我却装傻的说不知道。
我想,我会这样回答你,应该是害羞吧?
只是,让我很怀疑的是,你怎么拍下它的?因为我记得那时候你与tomato她们的话题,我都听到,只是那是确实累了,不想起身。但没想到却在不知不觉中被你拍下了?

你手机不见的那一刻,我很担心且觉得很遗憾,因为里面有我们的回忆啊!
可是更让我担心的是你本人,
我不知到当时的我应该怎么帮你,却也懊恼着为什么你会如此的粗心大意
不过也有点责怪自己怎么不多注意一下你。

可是,见你那明明失落却又装作诺无其事的样子,让我觉得些许的心疼,你,就是不想让我们担心吧?
我知道,却不想拆穿你。就像你发现身旁的我很伤心时,却假装自己已经沉浸在戏里的事物。
谢谢你,这是我目前只能对你说的话,虽然你并不喜欢。
希望下一次我们可以继续使用特别的字来代替它?XD


不知道为什么,
离别始终让人不好受。
强逼着自己长大,需要的勇气很大。
朋友问我,何来的勇气面对你?
我也想:是啊,为什么当时的我会这么想告诉你呢?
是朋友们的鼓励吗?还是因为总有预感未来或许真的无法遇见你了?
我不敢想象,我胆怯了,面对未来,我胆怯了。
所以,我只把握当下,抓紧时机,告诉你。
虽然,我的问法很奇怪,
不过,那是我当时也是现在想对你说的话,
或许未来,你的答案还是会一样,或许你会给我另一个答案。
不过这些目前都不重要了(应该吧?) 
很庆幸,我始终鼓起了勇气,告诉你我的想法。

想起你那一天晚上使用"不好的绝招"逼我说实话,真的让我很不知所措耶!
你是第一个这样对我的哦!
不过,也算了。
因为你的强迫,我把心中的事告诉了你,
也了解了更多的你。
想起你那逼人却没带点任何邪恶的表情,让我印象深刻。(抱歉,我不是变态><)

那时的我们,究竟是处在于什么关系啊?
比朋友更深一成了吗?
我想是的。
我们可以是好朋友吗?还是更好的朋友呢?不知道
但是,答案总是在你手中。
希望,
我们可以继续的保持联络,不管未来怎样, 好不好?


怎么办?
真的……我不想长大了。
就让我再停留一下吧!

给那个你^ , 学车加油!考车顺利!

给自己,愿undang一次就過關!

=D

Only By SeCretPinki_________Saturday midnight 1.24am 21.12.2013

Thursday, December 19, 2013

✖First Outing✖

18.12.2013

Our first outing. Wake up in the early morning and I turn on computer to search for the courses in UTAR. Take up few hours and went out with my sister around 11a.m. Sister fetch me to Bukit Raja JayaJusco around 11.30a.m. After that, I went into Jusco myself and window shopping. I took up the last 20 minutes in the Popular. I found out the counters had changed place. And I look into the finance and investment's bookstore there. Reading or few minutes and I left popular and heading to the TGV cinema. I stand there looking at the timetable for every movie which will be play on wedneday.

It was around 12.30p.m.+ , I look at "The Hobbit" through the advertisement. Since already past 12.10p.m. I look at 1.55p.m. and count for the time we watch have to take up 2 hours 35 minutes like that. Well, it will over 4pm. Then, I wait for Mr.H by keep watch on my handphone. He called, I accepted, and We saw each other after I accepted the call for few seconds. After telling him the time we watch will over 4p.m. Then he called SJ for delay-ing our time to 5pm. for second round to go HP's party. And then, we bought the tickets and heading to the restaurant nearby.

Fortunately, We met PYing's brother who worked there. CS saw me and greet with me. After that, Mr.H and me enter the restaurant ( I forgot the restaurant's name ><). We ordered our meals through CS and Mr.H left to do something for awhile. When waiting for the meal and him, I took out my Ipod and do nothing, looking around the condition in restaurant, I found out the workers were so hardworking and tried to do everything quickly. After our food was on the table. I used my Ipod to take photos, I took it quietly...xD.. and then, I took out my book and read awhile. When I saw him came back and had a little accident in the front of the restaurant, I keep my things immediately and smile at him. We started our meal and it took up more than 30 minutes.

We talked while we had our meal. During that time, I was worried about my future, because I didn't sure which course I have to take since my parent want me to study in UTAR as well. I did think about Finance before, but this job really not suit me as I don't like the read those "boring" articles..and then he found out I was thinking something. I told him everything in my mind. And then..time flies, nearby 2p.m. He pay for the meal although I did tell him It was my turn to treat for the meal. Well, He still didn't want me to do so and give me a reason which wasn't the reason at all.. ~.~

And then both of us left the restaurant after saying goodbye to CS and head to cinema. We entered the room 1 and searching for places. Someone were mis-sitting on our places and for a few seconds, he talked to them and we had our own places. Thanks to him. =)

It was my first time watch movie with him which without friends and "The Hobbit 2" was my first time to watch as I never watched "The Hobbit" before. He repeat the first story while the advertisements were still playing. And soon, movie started and just like what he said. haha...
Alright, during the movie, I had been frightened for few times and he noticed it. Ahhhh... 丢脸 >.<
oh right, it happened suddenly.
Bilbo Baggins, I was quite pity of him because he was sent to retrieve the Arkenstone, only to awaken smaug. And in the other hand, Bard took out the black arrow and attempt to bring it to the town's launcher but he failed to do it and his son helped to hide the arrow. Well, movie came to the end when Smaug emerges and stumbles out of the mountain determined to destroy Lake-town and its people for aiding the Dwarves. He then takes to the air as Bilbo watches in horror at what they have unleashed.

What I want to comment on "The Hobbit 2" was.. It was really a nice movie. Both of us was wondering how good it was to be a movie film and look real. Btw, Tauriel look much prettier with the bright. =D
Around 4.40p.m. we left the cinema and started our "short path journey" to SJ's house. He lead me and tried not to let the sun shines on me as the sun is very intense at the moment. How caring he was. =) and along the way we head to SJ's house, I knew some of his past which going through along the road we went with guitar and some little small incident. One of the most frightened me was when the car hond at us, luckily he was safe..next time must be more careful on the road.

We took up 20 minutes like that by walking from JJ to SJ's house, although the sunshines make us sweat but I can still feel happy with him. Sorry to make him keep look after me to make sure I was safe. Anyway, It might be the last time for us to walk together, and next time we might can go out with car or...
Well, when we reached SJ's house, I didn't know Sj's sister open the door for us, as I took off my spectacles. And the condition in the house was definitely quiet as Jason and TS was sleeping while SJ was inside his own room. ( I think he maybe was bathing ). After that, everyone awake, HMin came and after that JWei came too to fetch Bobo and TS. Soon, we went out together by SJ's car (hope Sj's leg can recover asap) and then during the way we go to HPeng's house, SJ asked me why Am I busy when he called me. (i guess, what should I say? telling him because I was watching movie together with Mr.H? <<< I rmb he said the same things to me if he told Sj about it.. hehe...) Since we go out without letting others know about it. ( because I'm sure others will say "bojio" ) , then I change to ask Sj : " what you supposed me to answer?" Luckily he didn't ask more detail....=) I looked at Mr.H and smiled.

Alright. We reached HPeng's house after a few minutes Sj searching for his house around the taman. Entered, Greeted with his mother. And I was asked to play Bluff with Bobo them. It was my first time to play after I had watch how did Mr.H them play during the graduation trip. And I being catch by few times since I didn't know the games well. -.-"

We keep the cards as HPeng's mother didn't like it. And we had our dinner as the food was served. Everyone was cared on HMin since she didn't eat alot of healthy food as well. And I found out, I know her appetite quite well due to alway had lunch with her before go Biology tuition. Then, when we were having our food, Bobo asked me a question : " Both of you really didn't together?" erm...what Should I respond? I can only told her : " Due to some problem, we can't be together." Buth after that I told her the truth about we still have long path to go, and don't know what will be in the future. And she seems couldn't accept it and asked Mr.H to answer her question. Well...I was definitely...Omg.. >.< .. But he skipped her question quite well. Luckily? i thought so. He didn't like to answer those kind of question, so..I did hope them don't asked and forced him....=)

I enjoyed my food with all of them. They did talked some funny things and make me smile and I think, that night I did really over much, because It was our last night? Yeah, I thought. I was just feeling quite shy and didn't know what to respond when TS and JW keep called Mr.H's name and most of the time singing a song with his name. =.=".. How creative they were. lols. But nice to listen actually.. hahaha.. I'm crazy -.-

I still rmb I ask HPeng how should i eat the salad. Then, he lazy to teach me and ask Mr.H to teach. Don't he know Mr.H is busy now? Just let him have a nice time with those friends lorh. And soon, we all finish our food and head to HPeng's study room. I found out there got a lot of books i can read but most are quite bored. After awhile, I came down from the room and head to outside. I found out he was with Ckiat and Hsern them. Although I didn't know what happened around them, but I can nearly know Sjie was unhappy with yesterday things?...erm...not my matters then. I just sit on the chair and took our my things ( should say money...haha..) and keep my things well, put beside and stand up, watching the sky with little stars. ( that time they going to do something on Sjie.)

I heard they called my name, and Mr.H came nearby... o.o... He asked me why I am alone here. Erm..what should I say? Came down just to see where you were? No. I not dare to say. But then I put money on his hand, and told him have to take the money. ( Ticket's money ) Then, I said : " you must take it as I treat you to watch movie." ( I guess I was forcing him to do so.. haha.. yeah, I was.)  He seems like couldn't accept it and asked me to have a scissor cross with him. Maybe I please him to accept and not to play the scissor cross, and lastly he forced to take it. ( Ps, I did said I want treat you already..just accept it better? =D or else next time let you treat back again lorh... xD..)  I guess that time both of us look quite funny..haha..but, who cares? (=

After that, I went back the room and look on the tables and board. I found out the sticky notes and whole year planning. Ahh.. I hope I can do it also, But I don't have my own room and table and those things sound comfortable for me to study.. but it's okay. I may have it in future!

Watching Jjian them playing the bluff, I felt so bored. Came out from the room again and saw KMu them was playing the piano and others just sitting there playing other games? I not sure. I just head to the stairs and came down again and went outside. Drink water. Few minutes, HPeng's came out too and said SHe was coming. O.o... I came to the front door and tried to open the door with Hpeng but failed. And then, SHe came. I told him the door can't open, but he don't believe me. ( sad.) Awhile, HPeng's father came, ZXuan Came too with HPeng. Three of them open the door successfully.

SHe came in and went to the 2nd floor to find Bobo them. I follow them go upstair but few minutes later I came down again and want to go outside but I found HPeng's parent there. Then, I decided not to go out and stay at the parlor. Looking at those furnishings. Mind : They love to donate?..some were look like history ..

"bang", Ohhh, others coming down. I stand up from the chairs immediately and act like nothing happen on me. Phew.. That was HEn. Soon, I went out together with them. (**Parent left to other room). They started to search for food again... haha... lastly I had some salad and drinks. While others like JWei them make jokes on me...-.-.. Well, last day, just let them do so. =)

Take photos after everyone came down and I sat back my place. Soon, HPeng took out "potong" and treat us eat, Thanks for Mr.H gave it to me. =) After awhile, we keep playing with camera, although I didn't took photo with him but I was glad I had good time and good day with him. ^ Btw, He did ask me took photos with bobo them too.

Last, we back home by Sjun's car. Thanks for HPeng's mother blessing and her kindness, hope to see her soon in future. =D
One by one, SHe back, and then his turn. First time saw where his house located. But I think I can't remember it well. I never go his taman there before. But mayb can still find his house? hahaha.. guess too.

181213. One of the best day ever with buddies and with him. Thanks for everythings. I will cherish it forever.

Mr.H, can I have other chance to go out with you and watch other series of "The Hobbit" in future no matter how our future are? =))

Only by SeCretPinki______________Thursday        19.12.2013         8.51pm.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

✖Graduation Trip --- Part 1✖

8/12~12/12-2013, my form 5's graduation trip with S5's friends. =)
I would like to say it started with joy , ended with sorrow.

8/12-2013
I woke up at 3am in the middle night, after prepared and took a morning photo and upload it to the Instagram and Facebook. 4.30am, reached Lum's house. Lum's neighbor dog was fierce, and I was quite worried that it came our from the gate and bite me, luckily it didn't. 4.30am+ , both of us reached school, we came down from the car and enter school gate to wait for the bus and the rest of people. I was surprised when I saw half of my classmates already reach and gather there earlier than me. But mostly they didn't have a sleep before they came for trip.  Before bus came, Yx asked me about him, because I didn't wear spec, so I decided to call him by phone, and then I was surprised that he told me he was there behind but just went to toilet. Alright, he came in time earlier than me. =)

Our bus no. 2020, it was a nice number. We entered our bus one by one and after that we started our journey to P.Langkawi during the midnight. During the journey, I can remembered what I only heard was S jin's laughing sound. His sound was too funny at all, and really make me laugh. This was because nobody is laughing and the condition in bus was so quiet. Everyone is sleeping because they were too tired. After that we reached a place, and we had our breakfast there. At first I would like to take mee and my breakfast but after I saw beef, then i decided to take roti telur as my breakfast. I saw everyone having their breakfast and finished it earlier than me. Py, bobo, Sx, Jw them all eating different food like bread, Maggie mee in cup and more. Others like lum, Yl all eating bread. I can still remember when I was walking by taking my food and searching for places, I saw Jason rose up his hand, I knew what he mean, he want me to sit beside Mh, but when he rise up his hand, I saw Mh immediately put down his hand. Haha..it was funny.

I can felt stomach ache although I had a bread before I went for trip. After having roti telur,I felt full and better. Then, our journey continued. We reached the port and waited for the ship. At first we thought Jason, Sjin and Jjian will be left to wait for another ship. But luckily, they came in with us by same ship. After that, we reached P.Langkawi around 3pm. We were late if based on planning. After that, We went to have our lunch. But I was definitely get surprised on myself because I got stomachache  for the 2nd time in on the same day. I thought if I have my food, then my stomach will be better, but i was wrong. It was getting worse until I didn't even wan to finish my food. Well, lastly I forced myself to finish it and i really wan to say thank you toward Jason, because he did help me go shop to buy medicine. After having the medicine, I did feel better. =)

So, I was the last to ride the bus. Hmmm...When I entered bus, I was searching for Jason, just because wanted to say thank you toward him, after I found him was sitting behind. And then....I sat on his place but after Jason came back for his own sit, he started a topic that was definitely I asked him before. Jason asked me about HIM. And he made a special propose to ask Mr.H to sit beside me or should I said Mr.H being force to sit on Jason's place? hmm...haha... Soon, we started our conversation with "no reason".. and talk some nonsense..after that I got the chance as Jason did said : " whenever you think it isn't the chance, then It would be the chance." So, I tried, I brace myself. When we were staying in the silent condition.. I started with a sentences : " I'm going to tell you something, hope you won't be surprised after heard it." oh right, I did want to tell him through my mouth but I not brave enough.. It took me long time to say one word..so by his suggested, I use another way to tell him. I typed and showed. He read it and his expression showed me that he wasn't get ready to answer it. So..we will continued it after it. After back from toilet, I was totally surprised that he still sat on Jason's place. I thought we were be going back to our own seat as well after that but didn't. I sat back beside him and watching movie.

After awhile..he replied me by same way..reading the words, i don't know should I be sad or happy ? I think sad more. Replied, my mind. And then, we stopped it and promised each other that we will continued it soon. Yeahh, I forgotten the place name we did travel on the first day. But I can still remember he gave me one carrot just to feed the rabbits. I would like to say I did really want to take down all the photos that he was with those rabbits! Haha.. I was crazy right? yeah.. After that, we went for cable car. Through the long queue, I found out lot of things. I enjoyed the moment with friends and he. Don't know why, I love the moment he put his hand on my hat, It make me thought bout incident happened before graduation. When we get into the cable car, I knew that hwai peng them were souring on us. But, I don't care. After few minutes, we reached the hilltop and it was from dawn turn into night. The weather was definitely cold. Strong wind blows up, although it was cold for me but I really thought It was one of the best night ever for me in my life. Watching all my classmates taking photos together. Our S5's boys took off their shirts and had a group photos. The feeling of likes, did left in my heart, hard to express it.

After enjoying the strong wind, cold night on the hilltop, we went back our cable car and hotel. Everyone is preparing to have a good bath and good rest but out of my plan was Jason and TSheng entered our room ( YX's them and mine) and they started some topic, soon, more boys came in and well, Jason bring a bottle of wine. They look unhappy. Soon, we started a game suggested by them ( actually YX and me aren't planning to play it) but then we were forced to play. 12 am past, he did called me but i didn't accepted, because i didnt know. and then , he entered our room, and don't know why, he became the victim. Kept being played by us. And I unexpected that I was punished to hug by him, pull his hair..and the last was.......hmm.. I don't want to say.. hehe...

That night was really a funny and memorable night, although I was worried and quite shy to do so.. but I still want to say sorry to him. Hope you don't mind it... =)

First day of trip, ended.

Only by SeCretPinki__________Xian        Sunday 15/12/13    10.00pm

Saturday, December 14, 2013

✖眼泪✖

坐在椅子上,听着对面的人所说的话....
不知何时,眼眶布满了泪腺上流出来的酸酸又甜甜的泪水。
毫无声音的、慢慢的、无次序的持续流下她的脸颊..
渐渐的,原本清晰的视线顿时模糊了...

这是第几次她哭了?
虽然不是哭得稀咯哗啦的,却也让她有种很疲惫的感觉。
静静地流下眼泪,她好疲惫...
疲惫得一句话也不想说,就这样安静的想着、听着、看着…
不是因为她不理会身旁的人所问的问题,而是她已经不知道该怎么回答了。
她只能坐在那,让她的思路不断的持续着,找着究竟有什么办法让她可以逃离黑暗的世界?

原本明确的路,因为经济上的问题,让她向往的未来,毁了。
曾开心的期待着未来,但是当下的她再也没有幻想未来的感觉。
现实中的生活并没有想象中简单。
她知道,大家劝她、给她的意见,都是为了她好,但是她真的好希望她可以自由地作出自己的选择。
她多么的希望自己可以抛开一切阻挡她未来的障碍,奔向属于自己的世界。
可是,她不能这样做。她不可以那么自私,更不可能让自己的自私把别人的未来破灭。
如果因为她想得到的未来,而牺牲了另外两个人接下来的下半辈子,即使有一天她成功了,她也不会开心,更加无法快乐的度过接下来的每一天。

虽然她曾一度的认为也恳求着,让她再自私一次吧,可是每当一想到后果,她便再也无法继续下去。
哭,解决不了问题。这,她知道。
可是能不能就让她再放任一次的哭?
这是最后一次她哭了,因为懦弱解决不了任何问题。即使哭得眼睛都肿了,问题还是存在着。
他说的并没有错,她也知道生活上遇到的挫折很多。如果因为人生的第一步就放弃了,那17年来过的生活不就变得没意义了吗?
她曾妒忌着身边的人,抱怨着上帝对她的不公平,可是换另一个角度想,这或许是上帝给的
其中一个考验?
她理解了,虽然还未完全放开,可是至少她有着些许的正确想法。

她,不会放弃,永远都不会放弃。
人生中的计划其实有很多,如果第一个计划无法实现,我们还有B计划可以进行啊。
上帝不会给我们一条死路,总有很多路可以让我们选择,既然发现前往的路是一条死路,为何不选择转身,走回原点再向别的路出发呢?

路是人走出来的,
这一句突然出现在她的脑海里,
让她想通了。
既然第一个计划接近失败的阶段,那她应该准备更多的计划。
虽然B计划的路比较坎坷,会很辛苦,但这总比选择自己不想要的来得更好。

信心飙升,眼泪停了。
她,不哭了。
软弱不会促使自己成功,只有坚持才是光明的天使。

她,确定了,选择自己从未想过的一条路。
希望,那一条路可以带领着她走向光明的未来。
愿她成功!

Only by SeCretPinki______________sunday     1.34am midnight 15/12/13

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ιιm hx. who call carrιe. who like nature =) inform u-- Don't compare yourself with others, but compare with yourself •‿• Let's move on for our future!