2013年12月31日 下午3時54分 晴
今天的天氣比前幾天好很多，是因為最後一天嗎？
這一年來，有好多好多让我铭记在心的回忆，也让我了解到谁是真正的朋友，谁的话才是真心的。我认识到了班上的每一个人，了解他们的个性，虽然接触不多，不过还是感谢上帝可以让我遇见他们。
我珍惜现在我拥有的，渴望得到我想要的，期待充满疑惑又神秘的未来。
缘份，让我们遇见了彼此，尽管我们无法预测未来，不过却很希望我们能够把彼此放在心中，朋友也好，恋人也罢。只要在未来把对方记起，是我最感激的。
感谢上帝让我遇见了你，你们。因你们路过的脚印，我的生活变得更多姿多彩。
我发现学会远远比不上班上的友情。
朋友的关怀，是我最在乎的。虽然本人觉得自己认识蛮多人的，可是真心的却用手指头都可以算出来。我享受与朋友在一起的感觉，讨厌被遗忘在一旁的感觉。
但，总是有一群人，你很想参，却始终都无法融入。
既然无法融入，何必强求自己来达到别人的要求呢？
算了，他们始终是我生命里的过客，看开点吧！ （＾_＾）
再过几小时的时间，就是2014年了。
希望我可以开心的度过这最后一天，并好好迎接新的一年，大家也一样。
再见2013，欢迎2014。
请让我今晚发一个好梦吧！祈祷着.. （＾ν＾）
Only by SeCretTruth_____pinki
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
✖Graduation Trip --- Part 2✖
9.12.2013
Second day of trip. It was a fun day for me.
I woke up the first compare to Yx them. Immediately, I finished prepraring and woke Tomato up since she keep sleep. After awhile, we had finish preparing and went down to the hall there and having our breakfast by using the room tickets. Oh right, It seems we were the last room to came out and having our breakfast. Because everyone was done their breakfast and went back their room for prepared. Aha....compare to them, I was the slowest -.-.. I shouldn't took so much food. Regret. >.<"
After that, all of us gather and lined up to enter bus. Our first place to move on was beach. Luckily I entered a big boat and sitting in a safe place. ( I think I should sit behind like what Lum did. ~.~ ) During the way we headed to beach, I felt happy to watching the scene around, I loved those hills, the views, the air, the sea. I did hope I can went down the water to enjoy the the freshness and enter the forest without thinking about the dangerous and everything, freedom, I wish. But I can't, I can't go down and play inside the water. I promised my parent not to do so. So..when reach the port, I became a temporary camera girl. I helped Pyin to take any photo she wanted. Yeah, watching them playing beside the beach, I could feel happy too. Captured down every moment there. It could be much memorable for me, although, most of the photos didn't have me inside. But, who cares? Enjoy was enough for me..at least. =)
When Pyin asked me to took photo inside the water, I was hesitated. Awhile, I went down as usual but I tried not to enter deeply and further. I stay in water which nearby beach and focus on the camera, on the scene and every things. After that, I looking for him. Hmm.. Where is he? Ohh, Saw him, he was swimming behind them. And then, I turn my head back to the beach and capture down those guys who playing the sand on NYao. Haha..look funny. Alright, just watch how they going to did then. After few minutes, a human shape came out, and they made some funny things that I wouldn't want to describe. Yucks! Was came from my mind : Why they like to make those things? -.-.
Soon, everyone going to stand up and head back to port. I looked at him, and don't know why he made me felt worries. He was looking for something around the trees. Hmm..What he look at? When I look at his feet, I realised, ohh, slipper. I did want to help him find, but I thought I was helpless for him at the moment. Keep watching him without saying any words, and luckily, he found his slipper beside others' bags. Pheww.. then, I moved on to the port and waiting others to catch up. On the port, I had captured last few photos there since the camera was with me. Entered the boat, and start our journey again.
Few minutes later, we went to watch eagles flying on the sky and others feeding them. Besides, we did watch the scene of hills which look like a pregnant woman, we also found out another hills which look like a little child laying alone on the water. Wow! Nice view, although It looks nothings special for us. After that, we went to another place, A lake with X meters deep. There were a lot of boat around, and the air was totally polluted. I dislike that. Somemore, there got people smoking. Ahh.. can't they just stop smoking and think about other's health when around people? Before go up the port, I took off life jacket, because I need carry my bags. But then, he advised me to wear back the life jacket for safety. Yeah, I know you were care about my safety but.. I had to carry my bag a.. Then, I gave him a smile and told him I will be fine by not wearing the life jacket. ( Try to make myself in safe condition? I think. )
On the path going to the lake, there was a lot of monkeys around the road. Obviously, I was scared about the monkey, not because of their outlook, just a feeling, feeling worry and scare. Why? I also don't know. Hard to describe. Then, I standing on the float things, watching all of them playing in the water. I felt want to put my leg into water also but, the condition look dangerous for me. So, I didn't do it but use the camera to capture every moment, they jump, they swim, they play. The sunshine was hot but that doesn't affect our happiness. All of us play on the lake carefully, enjoyable. More than 30minutes we stay there. After that, times up. We had to go. Back to the boat, and head back to port. I found out everyone was tired after playing in the water. Although I didn't play at all, but I could feel tired too. I saw him sleep on the boat, others too. Enjoy the scene again, although my eyes really want to closed. After reach port, times for us to back hotel soon. I bought my picture although It doesn't look nice at all, but, It can be memorable for me. =) And he told me he did not going to buy it because no nice to look at.. haha..
Back hotel, finish every things, and we went to the shopping centre which next to our hotel. Most of the boys want to have their dinner at Mary Brown? ( I had forgotten how to spell it.) I didn't want to eat fried food. So I decide to go Old Town with others. I should say their service was really no good and we have to wait for long time. Well, I just didn't know why YYin said I Scold the waiter badly. I didn't scold them at all actually. ( When I scold ? Confuse, Btw, that night, I might skip something to say..some I don't want to say..)
After that, ZQuan them came and suggest to us to watch movie together later. But not many want to watch, and they did hope to play some games or had some rest. Then, Movie cancelled, change to game. But then, nobody know what game we going to play and 34 people in a room were really too narrow for us. At first we went to TSheng's room, but their room was too hot to stay as the air-cond was not function. Then, change to my room again, but after awhile all left to Lum's room. Because they keep change room and make me feel bored. And after knowing Jason was sick, so I went to his room myself.
When I stand outside the room, I heard Jason's and his sound. I took a breath and knock it. I open the door and look at them. ( That condition was weird. ><) Oh right, greet with them and when I am going to left, they stopped me and asked me if I want to go out with them or not. I agreed. And after following them to hall, they asked me for my opinion if I was the girl who received the "message". I read through the message and give my opinion. Erm..I should say I was not good to giving advice to others ba, because I didn't want to hurt others. Then, I saw Jason look quite Emo. But He ask me not to bother him. o.o..haha..okay..when someone emo, then just let them emo ba..
Then, Mr.H start to have conversation with me after we asked Jason to go further distance from us. Haha..they looks funny, really. Awkward moment between two of us. Erhem..we continued our last conversation yesterday. We didn't use type but we talk. I said everything on myself, relationship with friends and more. I did talk about Wk too, but those were past, and we are best friend forever, no matter hows. Two of us asking each other one question and we had to answer it honestly. After he finished talking about some of his past, TSheng came down and greet with us and Jason. Alright, Our condition become more awkward, I knew it. Then, he asked me back to hall there as there was nobody can disturb our conversation. I followed him, then, there really silent and a good place for us to chat. But, few minutes later, TSheng and Jason came here and disturbing us. TSheng thought we were together, but actually no, we were still friend.
Soon, Mr.H suggest to go other place again, the place is good to talk but don't know why I didn't like it, there got statues, and look scary. ( Erm..my own's opinion.) Then, he said the same things too. We successfully cheat TSheng and Jason went to other place and we return back to hall and sat on the same place. We continued our chat. The things I can remembered the most was he forced me to say every things in my mind honestly by telling me that time for us to be together and chat will be lesser and lesser. He did show me the time also and his angel's smile..( I should say it could be evil, but couldn't be evil also..sigh >.<) It was already midnight. Lastly, I being forced to say, and definitely, I really want to dibble and hide my head inside. >.< ahh.. ( I really quite shy that time, but no choice /.\ )
Then, I still remembered, he asked to be one of my best friend also. Yeah, He can be my best friend, I think? I could only tell my best and the most trustful friend all the things in my mind. I told him how was my feeling when with those friends, and how was I think. I did told him about Pying too. The best girl's friend for me. But, every things changed since Form 2. My friendship with her, had changed. Still, I took her as best friend, although she maybe didn't took me as good as what I hope to be. But...It's fine. I had already used to it, right?
Hmm.. Then, he told me I was pure. Another type of pure, can be cheated easily. Yeah, I know, maybe that is because I put every things seriously and so..being cheat easily. He told me not to be pure, try to change it for my own good. Mr.H , yours advice is acceptable. I had to take some times to change it. After awhile, our conversation turn off. Both of us were silent. We both look at the floor, and every things around together. I enjoyed it, the silent between both of us, although I didn't know what was in his mind.
I could feel, he did really cherish the moment that both of us stay together side by side. And me too. Side by side, no distance. Although the answer he gave was not what I want, but I was glad, I really glad That night I can stay beside him and know what he think. After that night, I knew him much. He is really good, for me, at least. No reason. But because of our mystery future, our further study..he made a choice, didnt hurt me and didn't waste my time. Yeah, both of us know. In future, maybe we can't study in the same college/ university. But If believe fate, we will meet each other in the future. Stand up, time for us to go bed. He sent me back to my room, 312.
That night, should be hard to sleep for me but because of tired, I fall slept soon. Good night. That was what I said in my heart to me and to him.
就是这样的深信着，我们的缘分。=)
Count down to new year , 2014 , left 2 days.
Only by SeCretTruth_____Carrie 29.12.2013 Sunday night, 10.26p.m.
Second day of trip. It was a fun day for me.
I woke up the first compare to Yx them. Immediately, I finished prepraring and woke Tomato up since she keep sleep. After awhile, we had finish preparing and went down to the hall there and having our breakfast by using the room tickets. Oh right, It seems we were the last room to came out and having our breakfast. Because everyone was done their breakfast and went back their room for prepared. Aha....compare to them, I was the slowest -.-.. I shouldn't took so much food. Regret. >.<"
After that, all of us gather and lined up to enter bus. Our first place to move on was beach. Luckily I entered a big boat and sitting in a safe place. ( I think I should sit behind like what Lum did. ~.~ ) During the way we headed to beach, I felt happy to watching the scene around, I loved those hills, the views, the air, the sea. I did hope I can went down the water to enjoy the the freshness and enter the forest without thinking about the dangerous and everything, freedom, I wish. But I can't, I can't go down and play inside the water. I promised my parent not to do so. So..when reach the port, I became a temporary camera girl. I helped Pyin to take any photo she wanted. Yeah, watching them playing beside the beach, I could feel happy too. Captured down every moment there. It could be much memorable for me, although, most of the photos didn't have me inside. But, who cares? Enjoy was enough for me..at least. =)
When Pyin asked me to took photo inside the water, I was hesitated. Awhile, I went down as usual but I tried not to enter deeply and further. I stay in water which nearby beach and focus on the camera, on the scene and every things. After that, I looking for him. Hmm.. Where is he? Ohh, Saw him, he was swimming behind them. And then, I turn my head back to the beach and capture down those guys who playing the sand on NYao. Haha..look funny. Alright, just watch how they going to did then. After few minutes, a human shape came out, and they made some funny things that I wouldn't want to describe. Yucks! Was came from my mind : Why they like to make those things? -.-.
Soon, everyone going to stand up and head back to port. I looked at him, and don't know why he made me felt worries. He was looking for something around the trees. Hmm..What he look at? When I look at his feet, I realised, ohh, slipper. I did want to help him find, but I thought I was helpless for him at the moment. Keep watching him without saying any words, and luckily, he found his slipper beside others' bags. Pheww.. then, I moved on to the port and waiting others to catch up. On the port, I had captured last few photos there since the camera was with me. Entered the boat, and start our journey again.
Few minutes later, we went to watch eagles flying on the sky and others feeding them. Besides, we did watch the scene of hills which look like a pregnant woman, we also found out another hills which look like a little child laying alone on the water. Wow! Nice view, although It looks nothings special for us. After that, we went to another place, A lake with X meters deep. There were a lot of boat around, and the air was totally polluted. I dislike that. Somemore, there got people smoking. Ahh.. can't they just stop smoking and think about other's health when around people? Before go up the port, I took off life jacket, because I need carry my bags. But then, he advised me to wear back the life jacket for safety. Yeah, I know you were care about my safety but.. I had to carry my bag a.. Then, I gave him a smile and told him I will be fine by not wearing the life jacket. ( Try to make myself in safe condition? I think. )
On the path going to the lake, there was a lot of monkeys around the road. Obviously, I was scared about the monkey, not because of their outlook, just a feeling, feeling worry and scare. Why? I also don't know. Hard to describe. Then, I standing on the float things, watching all of them playing in the water. I felt want to put my leg into water also but, the condition look dangerous for me. So, I didn't do it but use the camera to capture every moment, they jump, they swim, they play. The sunshine was hot but that doesn't affect our happiness. All of us play on the lake carefully, enjoyable. More than 30minutes we stay there. After that, times up. We had to go. Back to the boat, and head back to port. I found out everyone was tired after playing in the water. Although I didn't play at all, but I could feel tired too. I saw him sleep on the boat, others too. Enjoy the scene again, although my eyes really want to closed. After reach port, times for us to back hotel soon. I bought my picture although It doesn't look nice at all, but, It can be memorable for me. =) And he told me he did not going to buy it because no nice to look at.. haha..
Back hotel, finish every things, and we went to the shopping centre which next to our hotel. Most of the boys want to have their dinner at Mary Brown? ( I had forgotten how to spell it.) I didn't want to eat fried food. So I decide to go Old Town with others. I should say their service was really no good and we have to wait for long time. Well, I just didn't know why YYin said I Scold the waiter badly. I didn't scold them at all actually. ( When I scold ? Confuse, Btw, that night, I might skip something to say..some I don't want to say..)
After that, ZQuan them came and suggest to us to watch movie together later. But not many want to watch, and they did hope to play some games or had some rest. Then, Movie cancelled, change to game. But then, nobody know what game we going to play and 34 people in a room were really too narrow for us. At first we went to TSheng's room, but their room was too hot to stay as the air-cond was not function. Then, change to my room again, but after awhile all left to Lum's room. Because they keep change room and make me feel bored. And after knowing Jason was sick, so I went to his room myself.
When I stand outside the room, I heard Jason's and his sound. I took a breath and knock it. I open the door and look at them. ( That condition was weird. ><) Oh right, greet with them and when I am going to left, they stopped me and asked me if I want to go out with them or not. I agreed. And after following them to hall, they asked me for my opinion if I was the girl who received the "message". I read through the message and give my opinion. Erm..I should say I was not good to giving advice to others ba, because I didn't want to hurt others. Then, I saw Jason look quite Emo. But He ask me not to bother him. o.o..haha..okay..when someone emo, then just let them emo ba..
Then, Mr.H start to have conversation with me after we asked Jason to go further distance from us. Haha..they looks funny, really. Awkward moment between two of us. Erhem..we continued our last conversation yesterday. We didn't use type but we talk. I said everything on myself, relationship with friends and more. I did talk about Wk too, but those were past, and we are best friend forever, no matter hows. Two of us asking each other one question and we had to answer it honestly. After he finished talking about some of his past, TSheng came down and greet with us and Jason. Alright, Our condition become more awkward, I knew it. Then, he asked me back to hall there as there was nobody can disturb our conversation. I followed him, then, there really silent and a good place for us to chat. But, few minutes later, TSheng and Jason came here and disturbing us. TSheng thought we were together, but actually no, we were still friend.
Soon, Mr.H suggest to go other place again, the place is good to talk but don't know why I didn't like it, there got statues, and look scary. ( Erm..my own's opinion.) Then, he said the same things too. We successfully cheat TSheng and Jason went to other place and we return back to hall and sat on the same place. We continued our chat. The things I can remembered the most was he forced me to say every things in my mind honestly by telling me that time for us to be together and chat will be lesser and lesser. He did show me the time also and his angel's smile..( I should say it could be evil, but couldn't be evil also..sigh >.<) It was already midnight. Lastly, I being forced to say, and definitely, I really want to dibble and hide my head inside. >.< ahh.. ( I really quite shy that time, but no choice /.\ )
Then, I still remembered, he asked to be one of my best friend also. Yeah, He can be my best friend, I think? I could only tell my best and the most trustful friend all the things in my mind. I told him how was my feeling when with those friends, and how was I think. I did told him about Pying too. The best girl's friend for me. But, every things changed since Form 2. My friendship with her, had changed. Still, I took her as best friend, although she maybe didn't took me as good as what I hope to be. But...It's fine. I had already used to it, right?
Hmm.. Then, he told me I was pure. Another type of pure, can be cheated easily. Yeah, I know, maybe that is because I put every things seriously and so..being cheat easily. He told me not to be pure, try to change it for my own good. Mr.H , yours advice is acceptable. I had to take some times to change it. After awhile, our conversation turn off. Both of us were silent. We both look at the floor, and every things around together. I enjoyed it, the silent between both of us, although I didn't know what was in his mind.
I could feel, he did really cherish the moment that both of us stay together side by side. And me too. Side by side, no distance. Although the answer he gave was not what I want, but I was glad, I really glad That night I can stay beside him and know what he think. After that night, I knew him much. He is really good, for me, at least. No reason. But because of our mystery future, our further study..he made a choice, didnt hurt me and didn't waste my time. Yeah, both of us know. In future, maybe we can't study in the same college/ university. But If believe fate, we will meet each other in the future. Stand up, time for us to go bed. He sent me back to my room, 312.
That night, should be hard to sleep for me but because of tired, I fall slept soon. Good night. That was what I said in my heart to me and to him.
就是这样的深信着，我们的缘分。=)
Count down to new year , 2014 , left 2 days.
Only by SeCretTruth_____Carrie 29.12.2013 Sunday night, 10.26p.m.
Friday, December 27, 2013
✖三天✖
浅白的意思，三天。
24/12/2013 - 25/12/2013
星期二，平安夜的那一天。
迟睡却又早起，很显然的，她很注重那一天的考试。
最后一天的努力，很危险，但却也让印象深刻。反复的阅读那五百题，等待了约5小时的时间，终于，轮到她了。此刻的她更加紧张了，心跳不断地加速着。坐在电脑面前时，她却很可笑的按错一样东西，还好，因为这样紧张的心情渐渐平静了。
当点击开始的那一刻，她想起他对她说的话：“不要紧张”，这一句话在她脑海里徘徊了无数次，虽然还是感觉到心跳“扑通、扑通”的跳着，可是她却变得更加小心翼翼的做每一道题目，确实她的速度会比身边的人更慢。可是不懂为什么，她却有了一种信心，或许是因为他对她的信任吧？就是为了不让他感到失望，她尽了最后几分钟的时间还是不断地复习，即使她真的很不想再翻下去了。
感觉到身边的人不断地离开，差不多只剩她一个人时，她加快速度，做最后的检查。按下结束的按钮，看了荧幕上的成绩，48/50。她笑了，一天的努力，果然没有白费。再加上“4”号的座位让她更开心，因为4，始终是她最喜爱的号码，即使对华人来说，它是不吉利的号码。
虽然表面上的她并不怎么开心，但在心里，看着手上的那一张纸，紧张的心情，顿时不见了。第一时间，她最想分享的人就是他。因为他在几小时前突然寄过来的信息，让她增加了不少信心....信息发了，一路上，心情轻松了很多。终于可以不用读了,想到这个，她很好奇为什么大多的人都认为她很喜欢读书啊？不解.
晚上，因为朋友的邀请，所以到朋友家吃晚餐。就这样，很无聊也很疯狂的一夜不睡，直到早上。凌晨五时，在麦当劳买了早餐后，直接到SCM去。没想到，这一大早就有人在那里钓鱼。周围一片漆黑，他们看得清楚吗？
虽然第一次疯狂的一大早来到SCM，可是四周围都漆黑一片，感觉很恐怖。吃着早餐，看向前方的亭子被树围绕着，如果里面有灯，她一定毫不犹豫地踏入，可是里面没有，而且看似恐怖，她一步都不想踏入。就这样跟着身边人的步伐，经过呢里的一草一木，水池，及其他，终于回到了眼前的游乐场--小孩的游乐场。从来没有进去过，没想到原本被锁起来的游乐场，门开了。她像小孩子一样的在游乐场玩着，第一次如此的疯狂。因为身形小，连小孩子的游戏她都可以玩，真不知道该为自己感到快乐还是可悲？
之后又到了大草场。这一片场地，是她喜爱的其中一个，和朋友们疯狂的拍了几张照片直到早上八时多分，是时候回家了。休息了大概两个小时，又出发到B.Tinggi JJ，买错戏票，向柜台换后，在Shopping Centre 里绕了两个小时。看着Popular里的书，有好多她都想买，可是价钱都好高，舍不得，下一次有机会才买好了。
Police Story， 这一出戏，真的很不错，不懂为什么她被感动了....=)...
26/12/2013
她最后在下午才发现，那一天晚上有event, 而不是星期五晚上，还好，她来得及准备。
看完了好久没看的Naruto，然后起身准备。完毕，乘坐朋友的车到了新兰花园酒家。没想到，校长他们都有出席，让她好惊讶。这，或许是最后一次见校长了吧？
一整晚，她尽量的让自己融入，可是不懂为什么，不管是Sh@re 还是 UBK，都没办法让她真正的感到温暖，其实他们都可以是一个大家庭，可是，是陌生的感觉吗？还是什么？她没办法欺骗自己的感觉，看着她最要好的朋友在另一桌开心的笑着，她无法解释心中的感觉。她.....好闷。为了不让学弟们感到抱歉，她佯装起自己很融入。
装，很累。还好有番茄她们的陪伴，至少没那么无聊。可是当她们离开后，她感觉好寂寞。没有人与她说话，她也突然的没有动力，就静静的站在一旁观看身边认识的人的一举一动。礼貌的对身旁的人笑了一笑，心想：朋友....究竟是什么？曾经可以玩得很开心的朋友，为什么她们却可以这样看到她之后就好像真的陌生人一样完全不说话？
失望，真的涌上了心头。不装了，可是自己站在一旁真的很奇怪。算了，奇怪就奇怪吧，一个人没什么。=) 心这样的想着，好许多了。可是当两个最看重的学弟经过我身边时，他们问的话大致上都一样："你看起来好像很孤单？/你看起来好像很闷？” “很抱歉，如果今天真的无法让你很开心的融入” 他们两个的话，让她顿时无语，下一秒她赶紧的补上一句：“我有吗？还有你们做得很好，不需要感觉抱歉，真的” .....善意的谎言？不，他们确实做得很不错，只是她个人的问题。
算了，从今以后，她应该都不会再遇到同辈分的他们了。看着他们玩，其实也不错。这样安慰着。最后她终于拿出手上的IPOD，与最喜爱的学弟拍照，没错，就是照片里的那两个。谢谢他们，因为他们，Science Club 和 UBK 都很不错，虽然他们大多的心思都是在UBK，可是认识到他们，真的让她感到很值得，因为他们是她第一次认为自己和Juniors的关系都可以变得像朋友。 =)
Ps. Although I don't know how were you today, but, I hope you're fine. No matter how the result was, just take it and try the best next time. I believe in you, +u! =D
Only By SeCretTruth_________Pinki 27.12.2013 Friday 10.47pm.
24/12/2013 - 25/12/2013
星期二，平安夜的那一天。
迟睡却又早起，很显然的，她很注重那一天的考试。
最后一天的努力，很危险，但却也让印象深刻。反复的阅读那五百题，等待了约5小时的时间，终于，轮到她了。此刻的她更加紧张了，心跳不断地加速着。坐在电脑面前时，她却很可笑的按错一样东西，还好，因为这样紧张的心情渐渐平静了。
当点击开始的那一刻，她想起他对她说的话：“不要紧张”，这一句话在她脑海里徘徊了无数次，虽然还是感觉到心跳“扑通、扑通”的跳着，可是她却变得更加小心翼翼的做每一道题目，确实她的速度会比身边的人更慢。可是不懂为什么，她却有了一种信心，或许是因为他对她的信任吧？就是为了不让他感到失望，她尽了最后几分钟的时间还是不断地复习，即使她真的很不想再翻下去了。
感觉到身边的人不断地离开，差不多只剩她一个人时，她加快速度，做最后的检查。按下结束的按钮，看了荧幕上的成绩，48/50。她笑了，一天的努力，果然没有白费。再加上“4”号的座位让她更开心，因为4，始终是她最喜爱的号码，即使对华人来说，它是不吉利的号码。
虽然表面上的她并不怎么开心，但在心里，看着手上的那一张纸，紧张的心情，顿时不见了。第一时间，她最想分享的人就是他。因为他在几小时前突然寄过来的信息，让她增加了不少信心....信息发了，一路上，心情轻松了很多。终于可以不用读了,想到这个，她很好奇为什么大多的人都认为她很喜欢读书啊？不解.
晚上，因为朋友的邀请，所以到朋友家吃晚餐。就这样，很无聊也很疯狂的一夜不睡，直到早上。凌晨五时，在麦当劳买了早餐后，直接到SCM去。没想到，这一大早就有人在那里钓鱼。周围一片漆黑，他们看得清楚吗？
虽然第一次疯狂的一大早来到SCM，可是四周围都漆黑一片，感觉很恐怖。吃着早餐，看向前方的亭子被树围绕着，如果里面有灯，她一定毫不犹豫地踏入，可是里面没有，而且看似恐怖，她一步都不想踏入。就这样跟着身边人的步伐，经过呢里的一草一木，水池，及其他，终于回到了眼前的游乐场--小孩的游乐场。从来没有进去过，没想到原本被锁起来的游乐场，门开了。她像小孩子一样的在游乐场玩着，第一次如此的疯狂。因为身形小，连小孩子的游戏她都可以玩，真不知道该为自己感到快乐还是可悲？
之后又到了大草场。这一片场地，是她喜爱的其中一个，和朋友们疯狂的拍了几张照片直到早上八时多分，是时候回家了。休息了大概两个小时，又出发到B.Tinggi JJ，买错戏票，向柜台换后，在Shopping Centre 里绕了两个小时。看着Popular里的书，有好多她都想买，可是价钱都好高，舍不得，下一次有机会才买好了。
Police Story， 这一出戏，真的很不错，不懂为什么她被感动了....=)...
26/12/2013
她最后在下午才发现，那一天晚上有event, 而不是星期五晚上，还好，她来得及准备。
看完了好久没看的Naruto，然后起身准备。完毕，乘坐朋友的车到了新兰花园酒家。没想到，校长他们都有出席，让她好惊讶。这，或许是最后一次见校长了吧？
一整晚，她尽量的让自己融入，可是不懂为什么，不管是Sh@re 还是 UBK，都没办法让她真正的感到温暖，其实他们都可以是一个大家庭，可是，是陌生的感觉吗？还是什么？她没办法欺骗自己的感觉，看着她最要好的朋友在另一桌开心的笑着，她无法解释心中的感觉。她.....好闷。为了不让学弟们感到抱歉，她佯装起自己很融入。
装，很累。还好有番茄她们的陪伴，至少没那么无聊。可是当她们离开后，她感觉好寂寞。没有人与她说话，她也突然的没有动力，就静静的站在一旁观看身边认识的人的一举一动。礼貌的对身旁的人笑了一笑，心想：朋友....究竟是什么？曾经可以玩得很开心的朋友，为什么她们却可以这样看到她之后就好像真的陌生人一样完全不说话？
失望，真的涌上了心头。不装了，可是自己站在一旁真的很奇怪。算了，奇怪就奇怪吧，一个人没什么。=) 心这样的想着，好许多了。可是当两个最看重的学弟经过我身边时，他们问的话大致上都一样："你看起来好像很孤单？/你看起来好像很闷？” “很抱歉，如果今天真的无法让你很开心的融入” 他们两个的话，让她顿时无语，下一秒她赶紧的补上一句：“我有吗？还有你们做得很好，不需要感觉抱歉，真的” .....善意的谎言？不，他们确实做得很不错，只是她个人的问题。
算了，从今以后，她应该都不会再遇到同辈分的他们了。看着他们玩，其实也不错。这样安慰着。最后她终于拿出手上的IPOD，与最喜爱的学弟拍照，没错，就是照片里的那两个。谢谢他们，因为他们，Science Club 和 UBK 都很不错，虽然他们大多的心思都是在UBK，可是认识到他们，真的让她感到很值得，因为他们是她第一次认为自己和Juniors的关系都可以变得像朋友。 =)
Ps. Although I don't know how were you today, but, I hope you're fine. No matter how the result was, just take it and try the best next time. I believe in you, +u! =D
Only By SeCretTruth_________Pinki 27.12.2013 Friday 10.47pm.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
✖冬至快乐？✖
22.12.2013
太阳还未完全升起的早晨，她醒来了。
看着身旁的书，她想：我昨天，太累了吗？
还有两天，就要考法律了，才翻了不到50页，还有500题未完成呢...
她从未说过自己聪明，也知道自己其实没那么笨，可是为什么尽管自己在怎么认真的去读，她还是无法了解？是句子上的意思太深了，还是自己头脑无法转动了？
不想猜测，放弃，然后死记？
她不要，学习....不就是先了解才是最重要的吗？
她不想再被人说成只会死读书，真真切切的书虫一个。
这些话，让她觉得很讽刺，很讨厌。
其实，做书虫没什么大不了，可是“书虫”这两个词，在别人的嘴里吐出来时，却包含着更深的意思。
她不是笨蛋，她听得懂，不就是另一个生活白痴的含义吗？
她不喜欢这样，可是......却没办法离开那些已经印洛在身上的词。
原本美好的心情，就在妈妈醒来后不久的一刻，影响了。
她原本是兴致勃勃地想帮妈妈的忙，到头来，反而被说成帮倒忙？
她知道，她没有姐姐的本领，没有像姐姐一样热爱下厨，
可是，当她终于想要学习的时候，反而有障碍，阻挡她的兴致，让她觉得不需要她，反而更棒吧？
是的，这一年来，她表现不佳，可是都有在反省、改过...
但是......结果都不一样......
她讨厌这样的自己，无法帮助任何人，又弄得自己很无助而且很可笑。
确实，她不爱说话，说话了反而得罪更多人。
可是不说话，又会让人误会了？被误会成假扮的？其实，根本就不了解她啊......
她还在学着，学着应该如何与人好好的沟通，好好的建立关系。
可是...很常失败。
她总是想：为什么他们的关系可以这样好？为什么他们认为会读书就会认为自己很了不起？为什么他就不能尊重我？为什么别人做汤圆时可以这样开心？
很多个为什么不断地出现在脑海里，可是就是找不到解决方案......
她不懂，难道一个人不会就不能学吗？难道一定要每一次发脾气来完成手上的每一件事吗？就不能好好的放松心情去了解，去发掘究竟是什么原因才导致成那样？
是的，每一个人都会发脾气，可是当自己发脾气时把身边的人卷入，心情会好吗？反而更糟糕啊......
如果说技巧，她没有技巧，所以无法好好的隐藏自己的脾气，可是，她生气的时候，大多都是在气自己没用，而不是在气别人啊......
她看着她发脾气的扔下手上的面团，她心想：何必呢？把自己搞成这样...？提早准备不久好了，为什么每一次都要到最后一刻才要做？就这样赶着，不但把自己累垮，还让自己心情不好，然后就催促他们赶紧做完吗？她不喜欢，如果换成是她准备食物，她一定会提早做完。
她总是称赞别人很会做人，会看人的脸色....
每一个人都不一样啊....每个人的性格都不同。她没有姐姐的机灵，没有像哥哥的嘴巴甜，没有弟弟的人缘好......
看着身边的人，她感到自卑...感觉自己的烦恼好多...
不知道是不是这样，她有时候很享受自言自语的感觉
在那个时候，好像变回了真正的自己，会开心但有时候却会伤心。
悲喜交加，很奇怪呢！
终于，在收拾完东西后，播放了刚下载不久的韩戏，《邻家的花美男》。戏里的女主角，高独美，总会让她觉得很像自己，但是她没有戏里的女孩那样几乎与世隔绝，至少，她还是有跟人常接触，认识不一样的人。
看着戏，莫名的闷闷不乐，然后又发现无法停止的持续播放......haha...真的像他所说的，韩剧很难让人停止呢！
不过，这样想，心情好多了。
扬起微笑，还要继续加油哦！
５００ 题，她尽量完成！
*冬至快乐，吃了圆圆的汤圆，又长大了一岁，看来真的过不久就快老了...haha..享受青春吧！
Only By SeCretTruth___________Carrie Sunday 6.10pm 22/12/2013.
太阳还未完全升起的早晨，她醒来了。
看着身旁的书，她想：我昨天，太累了吗？
还有两天，就要考法律了，才翻了不到50页，还有500题未完成呢...
她从未说过自己聪明，也知道自己其实没那么笨，可是为什么尽管自己在怎么认真的去读，她还是无法了解？是句子上的意思太深了，还是自己头脑无法转动了？
不想猜测，放弃，然后死记？
她不要，学习....不就是先了解才是最重要的吗？
她不想再被人说成只会死读书，真真切切的书虫一个。
这些话，让她觉得很讽刺，很讨厌。
其实，做书虫没什么大不了，可是“书虫”这两个词，在别人的嘴里吐出来时，却包含着更深的意思。
她不是笨蛋，她听得懂，不就是另一个生活白痴的含义吗？
她不喜欢这样，可是......却没办法离开那些已经印洛在身上的词。
原本美好的心情，就在妈妈醒来后不久的一刻，影响了。
她原本是兴致勃勃地想帮妈妈的忙，到头来，反而被说成帮倒忙？
她知道，她没有姐姐的本领，没有像姐姐一样热爱下厨，
可是，当她终于想要学习的时候，反而有障碍，阻挡她的兴致，让她觉得不需要她，反而更棒吧？
是的，这一年来，她表现不佳，可是都有在反省、改过...
但是......结果都不一样......
她讨厌这样的自己，无法帮助任何人，又弄得自己很无助而且很可笑。
确实，她不爱说话，说话了反而得罪更多人。
可是不说话，又会让人误会了？被误会成假扮的？其实，根本就不了解她啊......
她还在学着，学着应该如何与人好好的沟通，好好的建立关系。
可是...很常失败。
她总是想：为什么他们的关系可以这样好？为什么他们认为会读书就会认为自己很了不起？为什么他就不能尊重我？为什么别人做汤圆时可以这样开心？
很多个为什么不断地出现在脑海里，可是就是找不到解决方案......
她不懂，难道一个人不会就不能学吗？难道一定要每一次发脾气来完成手上的每一件事吗？就不能好好的放松心情去了解，去发掘究竟是什么原因才导致成那样？
是的，每一个人都会发脾气，可是当自己发脾气时把身边的人卷入，心情会好吗？反而更糟糕啊......
如果说技巧，她没有技巧，所以无法好好的隐藏自己的脾气，可是，她生气的时候，大多都是在气自己没用，而不是在气别人啊......
她看着她发脾气的扔下手上的面团，她心想：何必呢？把自己搞成这样...？提早准备不久好了，为什么每一次都要到最后一刻才要做？就这样赶着，不但把自己累垮，还让自己心情不好，然后就催促他们赶紧做完吗？她不喜欢，如果换成是她准备食物，她一定会提早做完。
她总是称赞别人很会做人，会看人的脸色....
每一个人都不一样啊....每个人的性格都不同。她没有姐姐的机灵，没有像哥哥的嘴巴甜，没有弟弟的人缘好......
看着身边的人，她感到自卑...感觉自己的烦恼好多...
不知道是不是这样，她有时候很享受自言自语的感觉
在那个时候，好像变回了真正的自己，会开心但有时候却会伤心。
悲喜交加，很奇怪呢！
终于，在收拾完东西后，播放了刚下载不久的韩戏，《邻家的花美男》。戏里的女主角，高独美，总会让她觉得很像自己，但是她没有戏里的女孩那样几乎与世隔绝，至少，她还是有跟人常接触，认识不一样的人。
看着戏，莫名的闷闷不乐，然后又发现无法停止的持续播放......haha...真的像他所说的，韩剧很难让人停止呢！
不过，这样想，心情好多了。
扬起微笑，还要继续加油哦！
５００ 题，她尽量完成！
*冬至快乐，吃了圆圆的汤圆，又长大了一岁，看来真的过不久就快老了...haha..享受青春吧！
Only By SeCretTruth___________Carrie Sunday 6.10pm 22/12/2013.
Friday, December 20, 2013
✖不想长大__给那个你✖
怎么办？
17岁的我....不想长大。
小时候不断地期待着长大后的自己，可是现在，
毕业了，却不想长大了。
看着时光不断地流逝，
我们人类，依然是追着时间，不断与它赛跑。
此刻的我，好想让时间停留在这一刻。
完美的一刻。
17岁的天空，很漂亮，却隐藏着无法预测的未来。
即将步入社会的少年们，此刻的想法是什么？
我，不想长大
长大后，与朋友见面的机率变少了。
欢乐时光只能成为完美的回忆，
幼稚、可爱、顽皮……
那些即将不属于我们。
未来，还有机会在遇见他吗？
这让我很怀疑，
不过我真的很希望我们的缘分是永远的，不会断的。=）
未来的路，
或许很坎坷，或许我们的距离会很遥远，
可是我觉得我的记忆里很不错，可以永远地把他记在心里。
请不要觉得对不起我，
因为我不会接受对不起，
而且我觉得很值得，并不会感觉浪费啊。
很感谢上天让我在毕业前认识了你，
因为你，中学时期变得与我预期中不一样，
而且很特别。
确实，有时候的我会莫名的傻笑，
好像花痴。
不过，还好没人发现。（heh)
想起每一次你进班的时候，虽然大多都接近迟到的时间，
可是你总会对我微笑。
不知道何时开始习惯了？我总是很期待你进班的那一刻。
可是，有时候的我很别扭，明明知道你进班了，我却不抬头看你，有时候甚至都不对你微笑做回应。现在想起来都觉得可惜。
那时候的我怎么了？为了不想让班上的人发现到我对你的好感吗？大概是吧。
可是，尽管我再怎么隐藏，终究还是会被发现的。
这是老师告诉我的。
果然，被身边的朋友发现到了。
不过，我想那时的你还不知道。
刚建起的友谊，我并不想毁掉。
这是我第一次的想法。
因为，即使喜欢一个人，要在一起，并没有想象中简单啊....
而且，不懂为什么，我总是有一种，只要默默喜欢你就好的感觉。
在毕业前后，很多很多的回忆不断在脑中播放着。
我还记得你将手机里的一张照片显示给我看，然后问我：＂你猜这是谁？＂
当我看见照片里伏在桌上的那女孩，我顿时很惊讶，你何时将它拍下来的？让我好讶异。
只要一眼，我就看得出照片里的女孩是谁，但是我却装傻的说不知道。
我想，我会这样回答你，应该是害羞吧？
只是，让我很怀疑的是，你怎么拍下它的？因为我记得那时候你与tomato她们的话题，我都听到，只是那是确实累了，不想起身。但没想到却在不知不觉中被你拍下了？
你手机不见的那一刻，我很担心且觉得很遗憾，因为里面有我们的回忆啊！
可是更让我担心的是你本人，
我不知到当时的我应该怎么帮你，却也懊恼着为什么你会如此的粗心大意
不过也有点责怪自己怎么不多注意一下你。
可是，见你那明明失落却又装作诺无其事的样子，让我觉得些许的心疼，你，就是不想让我们担心吧？
我知道，却不想拆穿你。就像你发现身旁的我很伤心时，却假装自己已经沉浸在戏里的事物。
谢谢你，这是我目前只能对你说的话，虽然你并不喜欢。
希望下一次我们可以继续使用特别的字来代替它？XD
不知道为什么，
离别始终让人不好受。
强逼着自己长大，需要的勇气很大。
朋友问我，何来的勇气面对你？
我也想：是啊，为什么当时的我会这么想告诉你呢？
是朋友们的鼓励吗？还是因为总有预感未来或许真的无法遇见你了？
我不敢想象，我胆怯了，面对未来，我胆怯了。
所以，我只把握当下，抓紧时机，告诉你。
虽然，我的问法很奇怪，
不过，那是我当时也是现在想对你说的话，
或许未来，你的答案还是会一样，或许你会给我另一个答案。
不过这些目前都不重要了（应该吧？）
很庆幸，我始终鼓起了勇气，告诉你我的想法。
想起你那一天晚上使用＂不好的绝招＂逼我说实话，真的让我很不知所措耶！
你是第一个这样对我的哦！
不过，也算了。
因为你的强迫，我把心中的事告诉了你，
也了解了更多的你。
想起你那逼人却没带点任何邪恶的表情，让我印象深刻。（抱歉，我不是变态＞＜）
想起你那逼人却没带点任何邪恶的表情，让我印象深刻。（抱歉，我不是变态＞＜）
那时的我们，究竟是处在于什么关系啊？
比朋友更深一成了吗？
我想是的。
我们可以是好朋友吗？还是更好的朋友呢？不知道
但是，答案总是在你手中。
我想是的。
我们可以是好朋友吗？还是更好的朋友呢？不知道
但是，答案总是在你手中。
希望，
我们可以继续的保持联络，不管未来怎样， 好不好？
我们可以继续的保持联络，不管未来怎样， 好不好？
怎么办？
真的……我不想长大了。
就让我再停留一下吧！
给那个你^ , 学车加油！考车顺利！
给自己，愿undang一次就過關！
=D
Only By SeCretPinki_________Saturday midnight 1.24am 21.12.2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
✖First Outing✖
18.12.2013
Our first outing. Wake up in the early morning and I turn on computer to search for the courses in UTAR. Take up few hours and went out with my sister around 11a.m. Sister fetch me to Bukit Raja JayaJusco around 11.30a.m. After that, I went into Jusco myself and window shopping. I took up the last 20 minutes in the Popular. I found out the counters had changed place. And I look into the finance and investment's bookstore there. Reading or few minutes and I left popular and heading to the TGV cinema. I stand there looking at the timetable for every movie which will be play on wedneday.
It was around 12.30p.m.+ , I look at "The Hobbit" through the advertisement. Since already past 12.10p.m. I look at 1.55p.m. and count for the time we watch have to take up 2 hours 35 minutes like that. Well, it will over 4pm. Then, I wait for Mr.H by keep watch on my handphone. He called, I accepted, and We saw each other after I accepted the call for few seconds. After telling him the time we watch will over 4p.m. Then he called SJ for delay-ing our time to 5pm. for second round to go HP's party. And then, we bought the tickets and heading to the restaurant nearby.
Fortunately, We met PYing's brother who worked there. CS saw me and greet with me. After that, Mr.H and me enter the restaurant ( I forgot the restaurant's name ><). We ordered our meals through CS and Mr.H left to do something for awhile. When waiting for the meal and him, I took out my Ipod and do nothing, looking around the condition in restaurant, I found out the workers were so hardworking and tried to do everything quickly. After our food was on the table. I used my Ipod to take photos, I took it quietly...xD.. and then, I took out my book and read awhile. When I saw him came back and had a little accident in the front of the restaurant, I keep my things immediately and smile at him. We started our meal and it took up more than 30 minutes.
We talked while we had our meal. During that time, I was worried about my future, because I didn't sure which course I have to take since my parent want me to study in UTAR as well. I did think about Finance before, but this job really not suit me as I don't like the read those "boring" articles..and then he found out I was thinking something. I told him everything in my mind. And then..time flies, nearby 2p.m. He pay for the meal although I did tell him It was my turn to treat for the meal. Well, He still didn't want me to do so and give me a reason which wasn't the reason at all.. ~.~
And then both of us left the restaurant after saying goodbye to CS and head to cinema. We entered the room 1 and searching for places. Someone were mis-sitting on our places and for a few seconds, he talked to them and we had our own places. Thanks to him. =)
It was my first time watch movie with him which without friends and "The Hobbit 2" was my first time to watch as I never watched "The Hobbit" before. He repeat the first story while the advertisements were still playing. And soon, movie started and just like what he said. haha...
Alright, during the movie, I had been frightened for few times and he noticed it. Ahhhh... 丢脸 >.<
oh right, it happened suddenly.
Bilbo Baggins, I was quite pity of him because he was sent to retrieve the Arkenstone, only to awaken smaug. And in the other hand, Bard took out the black arrow and attempt to bring it to the town's launcher but he failed to do it and his son helped to hide the arrow. Well, movie came to the end when Smaug emerges and stumbles out of the mountain determined to destroy Lake-town and its people for aiding the Dwarves. He then takes to the air as Bilbo watches in horror at what they have unleashed.
What I want to comment on "The Hobbit 2" was.. It was really a nice movie. Both of us was wondering how good it was to be a movie film and look real. Btw, Tauriel look much prettier with the bright. =D
Around 4.40p.m. we left the cinema and started our "short path journey" to SJ's house. He lead me and tried not to let the sun shines on me as the sun is very intense at the moment. How caring he was. =) and along the way we head to SJ's house, I knew some of his past which going through along the road we went with guitar and some little small incident. One of the most frightened me was when the car hond at us, luckily he was safe..next time must be more careful on the road.
We took up 20 minutes like that by walking from JJ to SJ's house, although the sunshines make us sweat but I can still feel happy with him. Sorry to make him keep look after me to make sure I was safe. Anyway, It might be the last time for us to walk together, and next time we might can go out with car or...
Well, when we reached SJ's house, I didn't know Sj's sister open the door for us, as I took off my spectacles. And the condition in the house was definitely quiet as Jason and TS was sleeping while SJ was inside his own room. ( I think he maybe was bathing ). After that, everyone awake, HMin came and after that JWei came too to fetch Bobo and TS. Soon, we went out together by SJ's car (hope Sj's leg can recover asap) and then during the way we go to HPeng's house, SJ asked me why Am I busy when he called me. (i guess, what should I say? telling him because I was watching movie together with Mr.H? <<< I rmb he said the same things to me if he told Sj about it.. hehe...) Since we go out without letting others know about it. ( because I'm sure others will say "bojio" ) , then I change to ask Sj : " what you supposed me to answer?" Luckily he didn't ask more detail....=) I looked at Mr.H and smiled.
Alright. We reached HPeng's house after a few minutes Sj searching for his house around the taman. Entered, Greeted with his mother. And I was asked to play Bluff with Bobo them. It was my first time to play after I had watch how did Mr.H them play during the graduation trip. And I being catch by few times since I didn't know the games well. -.-"
We keep the cards as HPeng's mother didn't like it. And we had our dinner as the food was served. Everyone was cared on HMin since she didn't eat alot of healthy food as well. And I found out, I know her appetite quite well due to alway had lunch with her before go Biology tuition. Then, when we were having our food, Bobo asked me a question : " Both of you really didn't together?" erm...what Should I respond? I can only told her : " Due to some problem, we can't be together." Buth after that I told her the truth about we still have long path to go, and don't know what will be in the future. And she seems couldn't accept it and asked Mr.H to answer her question. Well...I was definitely...Omg.. >.< .. But he skipped her question quite well. Luckily? i thought so. He didn't like to answer those kind of question, so..I did hope them don't asked and forced him....=)
I enjoyed my food with all of them. They did talked some funny things and make me smile and I think, that night I did really over much, because It was our last night? Yeah, I thought. I was just feeling quite shy and didn't know what to respond when TS and JW keep called Mr.H's name and most of the time singing a song with his name. =.=".. How creative they were. lols. But nice to listen actually.. hahaha.. I'm crazy -.-
I still rmb I ask HPeng how should i eat the salad. Then, he lazy to teach me and ask Mr.H to teach. Don't he know Mr.H is busy now? Just let him have a nice time with those friends lorh. And soon, we all finish our food and head to HPeng's study room. I found out there got a lot of books i can read but most are quite bored. After awhile, I came down from the room and head to outside. I found out he was with Ckiat and Hsern them. Although I didn't know what happened around them, but I can nearly know Sjie was unhappy with yesterday things?...erm...not my matters then. I just sit on the chair and took our my things ( should say money...haha..) and keep my things well, put beside and stand up, watching the sky with little stars. ( that time they going to do something on Sjie.)
I heard they called my name, and Mr.H came nearby... o.o... He asked me why I am alone here. Erm..what should I say? Came down just to see where you were? No. I not dare to say. But then I put money on his hand, and told him have to take the money. ( Ticket's money ) Then, I said : " you must take it as I treat you to watch movie." ( I guess I was forcing him to do so.. haha.. yeah, I was.) He seems like couldn't accept it and asked me to have a scissor cross with him. Maybe I please him to accept and not to play the scissor cross, and lastly he forced to take it. ( Ps, I did said I want treat you already..just accept it better? =D or else next time let you treat back again lorh... xD..) I guess that time both of us look quite funny..haha..but, who cares? (=
After that, I went back the room and look on the tables and board. I found out the sticky notes and whole year planning. Ahh.. I hope I can do it also, But I don't have my own room and table and those things sound comfortable for me to study.. but it's okay. I may have it in future!
Watching Jjian them playing the bluff, I felt so bored. Came out from the room again and saw KMu them was playing the piano and others just sitting there playing other games? I not sure. I just head to the stairs and came down again and went outside. Drink water. Few minutes, HPeng's came out too and said SHe was coming. O.o... I came to the front door and tried to open the door with Hpeng but failed. And then, SHe came. I told him the door can't open, but he don't believe me. ( sad.) Awhile, HPeng's father came, ZXuan Came too with HPeng. Three of them open the door successfully.
SHe came in and went to the 2nd floor to find Bobo them. I follow them go upstair but few minutes later I came down again and want to go outside but I found HPeng's parent there. Then, I decided not to go out and stay at the parlor. Looking at those furnishings. Mind : They love to donate?..some were look like history ..
"bang", Ohhh, others coming down. I stand up from the chairs immediately and act like nothing happen on me. Phew.. That was HEn. Soon, I went out together with them. (**Parent left to other room). They started to search for food again... haha... lastly I had some salad and drinks. While others like JWei them make jokes on me...-.-.. Well, last day, just let them do so. =)
Take photos after everyone came down and I sat back my place. Soon, HPeng took out "potong" and treat us eat, Thanks for Mr.H gave it to me. =) After awhile, we keep playing with camera, although I didn't took photo with him but I was glad I had good time and good day with him. ^ Btw, He did ask me took photos with bobo them too.
Last, we back home by Sjun's car. Thanks for HPeng's mother blessing and her kindness, hope to see her soon in future. =D
One by one, SHe back, and then his turn. First time saw where his house located. But I think I can't remember it well. I never go his taman there before. But mayb can still find his house? hahaha.. guess too.
181213. One of the best day ever with buddies and with him. Thanks for everythings. I will cherish it forever.
Mr.H, can I have other chance to go out with you and watch other series of "The Hobbit" in future no matter how our future are? =))
Only by SeCretPinki______________Thursday 19.12.2013 8.51pm.
Our first outing. Wake up in the early morning and I turn on computer to search for the courses in UTAR. Take up few hours and went out with my sister around 11a.m. Sister fetch me to Bukit Raja JayaJusco around 11.30a.m. After that, I went into Jusco myself and window shopping. I took up the last 20 minutes in the Popular. I found out the counters had changed place. And I look into the finance and investment's bookstore there. Reading or few minutes and I left popular and heading to the TGV cinema. I stand there looking at the timetable for every movie which will be play on wedneday.
It was around 12.30p.m.+ , I look at "The Hobbit" through the advertisement. Since already past 12.10p.m. I look at 1.55p.m. and count for the time we watch have to take up 2 hours 35 minutes like that. Well, it will over 4pm. Then, I wait for Mr.H by keep watch on my handphone. He called, I accepted, and We saw each other after I accepted the call for few seconds. After telling him the time we watch will over 4p.m. Then he called SJ for delay-ing our time to 5pm. for second round to go HP's party. And then, we bought the tickets and heading to the restaurant nearby.
Fortunately, We met PYing's brother who worked there. CS saw me and greet with me. After that, Mr.H and me enter the restaurant ( I forgot the restaurant's name ><). We ordered our meals through CS and Mr.H left to do something for awhile. When waiting for the meal and him, I took out my Ipod and do nothing, looking around the condition in restaurant, I found out the workers were so hardworking and tried to do everything quickly. After our food was on the table. I used my Ipod to take photos, I took it quietly...xD.. and then, I took out my book and read awhile. When I saw him came back and had a little accident in the front of the restaurant, I keep my things immediately and smile at him. We started our meal and it took up more than 30 minutes.
We talked while we had our meal. During that time, I was worried about my future, because I didn't sure which course I have to take since my parent want me to study in UTAR as well. I did think about Finance before, but this job really not suit me as I don't like the read those "boring" articles..and then he found out I was thinking something. I told him everything in my mind. And then..time flies, nearby 2p.m. He pay for the meal although I did tell him It was my turn to treat for the meal. Well, He still didn't want me to do so and give me a reason which wasn't the reason at all.. ~.~
And then both of us left the restaurant after saying goodbye to CS and head to cinema. We entered the room 1 and searching for places. Someone were mis-sitting on our places and for a few seconds, he talked to them and we had our own places. Thanks to him. =)
It was my first time watch movie with him which without friends and "The Hobbit 2" was my first time to watch as I never watched "The Hobbit" before. He repeat the first story while the advertisements were still playing. And soon, movie started and just like what he said. haha...
Alright, during the movie, I had been frightened for few times and he noticed it. Ahhhh... 丢脸 >.<
oh right, it happened suddenly.
Bilbo Baggins, I was quite pity of him because he was sent to retrieve the Arkenstone, only to awaken smaug. And in the other hand, Bard took out the black arrow and attempt to bring it to the town's launcher but he failed to do it and his son helped to hide the arrow. Well, movie came to the end when Smaug emerges and stumbles out of the mountain determined to destroy Lake-town and its people for aiding the Dwarves. He then takes to the air as Bilbo watches in horror at what they have unleashed.
What I want to comment on "The Hobbit 2" was.. It was really a nice movie. Both of us was wondering how good it was to be a movie film and look real. Btw, Tauriel look much prettier with the bright. =D
Around 4.40p.m. we left the cinema and started our "short path journey" to SJ's house. He lead me and tried not to let the sun shines on me as the sun is very intense at the moment. How caring he was. =) and along the way we head to SJ's house, I knew some of his past which going through along the road we went with guitar and some little small incident. One of the most frightened me was when the car hond at us, luckily he was safe..next time must be more careful on the road.
We took up 20 minutes like that by walking from JJ to SJ's house, although the sunshines make us sweat but I can still feel happy with him. Sorry to make him keep look after me to make sure I was safe. Anyway, It might be the last time for us to walk together, and next time we might can go out with car or...
Well, when we reached SJ's house, I didn't know Sj's sister open the door for us, as I took off my spectacles. And the condition in the house was definitely quiet as Jason and TS was sleeping while SJ was inside his own room. ( I think he maybe was bathing ). After that, everyone awake, HMin came and after that JWei came too to fetch Bobo and TS. Soon, we went out together by SJ's car (hope Sj's leg can recover asap) and then during the way we go to HPeng's house, SJ asked me why Am I busy when he called me. (i guess, what should I say? telling him because I was watching movie together with Mr.H? <<< I rmb he said the same things to me if he told Sj about it.. hehe...) Since we go out without letting others know about it. ( because I'm sure others will say "bojio" ) , then I change to ask Sj : " what you supposed me to answer?" Luckily he didn't ask more detail....=) I looked at Mr.H and smiled.
Alright. We reached HPeng's house after a few minutes Sj searching for his house around the taman. Entered, Greeted with his mother. And I was asked to play Bluff with Bobo them. It was my first time to play after I had watch how did Mr.H them play during the graduation trip. And I being catch by few times since I didn't know the games well. -.-"
We keep the cards as HPeng's mother didn't like it. And we had our dinner as the food was served. Everyone was cared on HMin since she didn't eat alot of healthy food as well. And I found out, I know her appetite quite well due to alway had lunch with her before go Biology tuition. Then, when we were having our food, Bobo asked me a question : " Both of you really didn't together?" erm...what Should I respond? I can only told her : " Due to some problem, we can't be together." Buth after that I told her the truth about we still have long path to go, and don't know what will be in the future. And she seems couldn't accept it and asked Mr.H to answer her question. Well...I was definitely...Omg.. >.< .. But he skipped her question quite well. Luckily? i thought so. He didn't like to answer those kind of question, so..I did hope them don't asked and forced him....=)
I enjoyed my food with all of them. They did talked some funny things and make me smile and I think, that night I did really over much, because It was our last night? Yeah, I thought. I was just feeling quite shy and didn't know what to respond when TS and JW keep called Mr.H's name and most of the time singing a song with his name. =.=".. How creative they were. lols. But nice to listen actually.. hahaha.. I'm crazy -.-
I still rmb I ask HPeng how should i eat the salad. Then, he lazy to teach me and ask Mr.H to teach. Don't he know Mr.H is busy now? Just let him have a nice time with those friends lorh. And soon, we all finish our food and head to HPeng's study room. I found out there got a lot of books i can read but most are quite bored. After awhile, I came down from the room and head to outside. I found out he was with Ckiat and Hsern them. Although I didn't know what happened around them, but I can nearly know Sjie was unhappy with yesterday things?...erm...not my matters then. I just sit on the chair and took our my things ( should say money...haha..) and keep my things well, put beside and stand up, watching the sky with little stars. ( that time they going to do something on Sjie.)
I heard they called my name, and Mr.H came nearby... o.o... He asked me why I am alone here. Erm..what should I say? Came down just to see where you were? No. I not dare to say. But then I put money on his hand, and told him have to take the money. ( Ticket's money ) Then, I said : " you must take it as I treat you to watch movie." ( I guess I was forcing him to do so.. haha.. yeah, I was.) He seems like couldn't accept it and asked me to have a scissor cross with him. Maybe I please him to accept and not to play the scissor cross, and lastly he forced to take it. ( Ps, I did said I want treat you already..just accept it better? =D or else next time let you treat back again lorh... xD..) I guess that time both of us look quite funny..haha..but, who cares? (=
After that, I went back the room and look on the tables and board. I found out the sticky notes and whole year planning. Ahh.. I hope I can do it also, But I don't have my own room and table and those things sound comfortable for me to study.. but it's okay. I may have it in future!
Watching Jjian them playing the bluff, I felt so bored. Came out from the room again and saw KMu them was playing the piano and others just sitting there playing other games? I not sure. I just head to the stairs and came down again and went outside. Drink water. Few minutes, HPeng's came out too and said SHe was coming. O.o... I came to the front door and tried to open the door with Hpeng but failed. And then, SHe came. I told him the door can't open, but he don't believe me. ( sad.) Awhile, HPeng's father came, ZXuan Came too with HPeng. Three of them open the door successfully.
SHe came in and went to the 2nd floor to find Bobo them. I follow them go upstair but few minutes later I came down again and want to go outside but I found HPeng's parent there. Then, I decided not to go out and stay at the parlor. Looking at those furnishings. Mind : They love to donate?..some were look like history ..
"bang", Ohhh, others coming down. I stand up from the chairs immediately and act like nothing happen on me. Phew.. That was HEn. Soon, I went out together with them. (**Parent left to other room). They started to search for food again... haha... lastly I had some salad and drinks. While others like JWei them make jokes on me...-.-.. Well, last day, just let them do so. =)
Take photos after everyone came down and I sat back my place. Soon, HPeng took out "potong" and treat us eat, Thanks for Mr.H gave it to me. =) After awhile, we keep playing with camera, although I didn't took photo with him but I was glad I had good time and good day with him. ^ Btw, He did ask me took photos with bobo them too.
Last, we back home by Sjun's car. Thanks for HPeng's mother blessing and her kindness, hope to see her soon in future. =D
One by one, SHe back, and then his turn. First time saw where his house located. But I think I can't remember it well. I never go his taman there before. But mayb can still find his house? hahaha.. guess too.
181213. One of the best day ever with buddies and with him. Thanks for everythings. I will cherish it forever.
Mr.H, can I have other chance to go out with you and watch other series of "The Hobbit" in future no matter how our future are? =))
Only by SeCretPinki______________Thursday 19.12.2013 8.51pm.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
✖Graduation Trip --- Part 1✖
8/12~12/12-2013, my form 5's graduation trip with S5's friends. =)
I would like to say it started with joy , ended with sorrow.
8/12-2013
I woke up at 3am in the middle night, after prepared and took a morning photo and upload it to the Instagram and Facebook. 4.30am, reached Lum's house. Lum's neighbor dog was fierce, and I was quite worried that it came our from the gate and bite me, luckily it didn't. 4.30am+ , both of us reached school, we came down from the car and enter school gate to wait for the bus and the rest of people. I was surprised when I saw half of my classmates already reach and gather there earlier than me. But mostly they didn't have a sleep before they came for trip. Before bus came, Yx asked me about him, because I didn't wear spec, so I decided to call him by phone, and then I was surprised that he told me he was there behind but just went to toilet. Alright, he came in time earlier than me. =)
Our bus no. 2020, it was a nice number. We entered our bus one by one and after that we started our journey to P.Langkawi during the midnight. During the journey, I can remembered what I only heard was S jin's laughing sound. His sound was too funny at all, and really make me laugh. This was because nobody is laughing and the condition in bus was so quiet. Everyone is sleeping because they were too tired. After that we reached a place, and we had our breakfast there. At first I would like to take mee and my breakfast but after I saw beef, then i decided to take roti telur as my breakfast. I saw everyone having their breakfast and finished it earlier than me. Py, bobo, Sx, Jw them all eating different food like bread, Maggie mee in cup and more. Others like lum, Yl all eating bread. I can still remember when I was walking by taking my food and searching for places, I saw Jason rose up his hand, I knew what he mean, he want me to sit beside Mh, but when he rise up his hand, I saw Mh immediately put down his hand. Haha..it was funny.
I can felt stomach ache although I had a bread before I went for trip. After having roti telur,I felt full and better. Then, our journey continued. We reached the port and waited for the ship. At first we thought Jason, Sjin and Jjian will be left to wait for another ship. But luckily, they came in with us by same ship. After that, we reached P.Langkawi around 3pm. We were late if based on planning. After that, We went to have our lunch. But I was definitely get surprised on myself because I got stomachache for the 2nd time in on the same day. I thought if I have my food, then my stomach will be better, but i was wrong. It was getting worse until I didn't even wan to finish my food. Well, lastly I forced myself to finish it and i really wan to say thank you toward Jason, because he did help me go shop to buy medicine. After having the medicine, I did feel better. =)
So, I was the last to ride the bus. Hmmm...When I entered bus, I was searching for Jason, just because wanted to say thank you toward him, after I found him was sitting behind. And then....I sat on his place but after Jason came back for his own sit, he started a topic that was definitely I asked him before. Jason asked me about HIM. And he made a special propose to ask Mr.H to sit beside me or should I said Mr.H being force to sit on Jason's place? hmm...haha... Soon, we started our conversation with "no reason".. and talk some nonsense..after that I got the chance as Jason did said : " whenever you think it isn't the chance, then It would be the chance." So, I tried, I brace myself. When we were staying in the silent condition.. I started with a sentences : " I'm going to tell you something, hope you won't be surprised after heard it." oh right, I did want to tell him through my mouth but I not brave enough.. It took me long time to say one word..so by his suggested, I use another way to tell him. I typed and showed. He read it and his expression showed me that he wasn't get ready to answer it. So..we will continued it after it. After back from toilet, I was totally surprised that he still sat on Jason's place. I thought we were be going back to our own seat as well after that but didn't. I sat back beside him and watching movie.
After awhile..he replied me by same way..reading the words, i don't know should I be sad or happy ? I think sad more. Replied, my mind. And then, we stopped it and promised each other that we will continued it soon. Yeahh, I forgotten the place name we did travel on the first day. But I can still remember he gave me one carrot just to feed the rabbits. I would like to say I did really want to take down all the photos that he was with those rabbits! Haha.. I was crazy right? yeah.. After that, we went for cable car. Through the long queue, I found out lot of things. I enjoyed the moment with friends and he. Don't know why, I love the moment he put his hand on my hat, It make me thought bout incident happened before graduation. When we get into the cable car, I knew that hwai peng them were souring on us. But, I don't care. After few minutes, we reached the hilltop and it was from dawn turn into night. The weather was definitely cold. Strong wind blows up, although it was cold for me but I really thought It was one of the best night ever for me in my life. Watching all my classmates taking photos together. Our S5's boys took off their shirts and had a group photos. The feeling of likes, did left in my heart, hard to express it.
After enjoying the strong wind, cold night on the hilltop, we went back our cable car and hotel. Everyone is preparing to have a good bath and good rest but out of my plan was Jason and TSheng entered our room ( YX's them and mine) and they started some topic, soon, more boys came in and well, Jason bring a bottle of wine. They look unhappy. Soon, we started a game suggested by them ( actually YX and me aren't planning to play it) but then we were forced to play. 12 am past, he did called me but i didn't accepted, because i didnt know. and then , he entered our room, and don't know why, he became the victim. Kept being played by us. And I unexpected that I was punished to hug by him, pull his hair..and the last was.......hmm.. I don't want to say.. hehe...
That night was really a funny and memorable night, although I was worried and quite shy to do so.. but I still want to say sorry to him. Hope you don't mind it... =)
First day of trip, ended.
Only by SeCretPinki__________Xian Sunday 15/12/13 10.00pm
I would like to say it started with joy , ended with sorrow.
8/12-2013
I woke up at 3am in the middle night, after prepared and took a morning photo and upload it to the Instagram and Facebook. 4.30am, reached Lum's house. Lum's neighbor dog was fierce, and I was quite worried that it came our from the gate and bite me, luckily it didn't. 4.30am+ , both of us reached school, we came down from the car and enter school gate to wait for the bus and the rest of people. I was surprised when I saw half of my classmates already reach and gather there earlier than me. But mostly they didn't have a sleep before they came for trip. Before bus came, Yx asked me about him, because I didn't wear spec, so I decided to call him by phone, and then I was surprised that he told me he was there behind but just went to toilet. Alright, he came in time earlier than me. =)
Our bus no. 2020, it was a nice number. We entered our bus one by one and after that we started our journey to P.Langkawi during the midnight. During the journey, I can remembered what I only heard was S jin's laughing sound. His sound was too funny at all, and really make me laugh. This was because nobody is laughing and the condition in bus was so quiet. Everyone is sleeping because they were too tired. After that we reached a place, and we had our breakfast there. At first I would like to take mee and my breakfast but after I saw beef, then i decided to take roti telur as my breakfast. I saw everyone having their breakfast and finished it earlier than me. Py, bobo, Sx, Jw them all eating different food like bread, Maggie mee in cup and more. Others like lum, Yl all eating bread. I can still remember when I was walking by taking my food and searching for places, I saw Jason rose up his hand, I knew what he mean, he want me to sit beside Mh, but when he rise up his hand, I saw Mh immediately put down his hand. Haha..it was funny.
I can felt stomach ache although I had a bread before I went for trip. After having roti telur,I felt full and better. Then, our journey continued. We reached the port and waited for the ship. At first we thought Jason, Sjin and Jjian will be left to wait for another ship. But luckily, they came in with us by same ship. After that, we reached P.Langkawi around 3pm. We were late if based on planning. After that, We went to have our lunch. But I was definitely get surprised on myself because I got stomachache for the 2nd time in on the same day. I thought if I have my food, then my stomach will be better, but i was wrong. It was getting worse until I didn't even wan to finish my food. Well, lastly I forced myself to finish it and i really wan to say thank you toward Jason, because he did help me go shop to buy medicine. After having the medicine, I did feel better. =)
So, I was the last to ride the bus. Hmmm...When I entered bus, I was searching for Jason, just because wanted to say thank you toward him, after I found him was sitting behind. And then....I sat on his place but after Jason came back for his own sit, he started a topic that was definitely I asked him before. Jason asked me about HIM. And he made a special propose to ask Mr.H to sit beside me or should I said Mr.H being force to sit on Jason's place? hmm...haha... Soon, we started our conversation with "no reason".. and talk some nonsense..after that I got the chance as Jason did said : " whenever you think it isn't the chance, then It would be the chance." So, I tried, I brace myself. When we were staying in the silent condition.. I started with a sentences : " I'm going to tell you something, hope you won't be surprised after heard it." oh right, I did want to tell him through my mouth but I not brave enough.. It took me long time to say one word..so by his suggested, I use another way to tell him. I typed and showed. He read it and his expression showed me that he wasn't get ready to answer it. So..we will continued it after it. After back from toilet, I was totally surprised that he still sat on Jason's place. I thought we were be going back to our own seat as well after that but didn't. I sat back beside him and watching movie.
After awhile..he replied me by same way..reading the words, i don't know should I be sad or happy ? I think sad more. Replied, my mind. And then, we stopped it and promised each other that we will continued it soon. Yeahh, I forgotten the place name we did travel on the first day. But I can still remember he gave me one carrot just to feed the rabbits. I would like to say I did really want to take down all the photos that he was with those rabbits! Haha.. I was crazy right? yeah.. After that, we went for cable car. Through the long queue, I found out lot of things. I enjoyed the moment with friends and he. Don't know why, I love the moment he put his hand on my hat, It make me thought bout incident happened before graduation. When we get into the cable car, I knew that hwai peng them were souring on us. But, I don't care. After few minutes, we reached the hilltop and it was from dawn turn into night. The weather was definitely cold. Strong wind blows up, although it was cold for me but I really thought It was one of the best night ever for me in my life. Watching all my classmates taking photos together. Our S5's boys took off their shirts and had a group photos. The feeling of likes, did left in my heart, hard to express it.
After enjoying the strong wind, cold night on the hilltop, we went back our cable car and hotel. Everyone is preparing to have a good bath and good rest but out of my plan was Jason and TSheng entered our room ( YX's them and mine) and they started some topic, soon, more boys came in and well, Jason bring a bottle of wine. They look unhappy. Soon, we started a game suggested by them ( actually YX and me aren't planning to play it) but then we were forced to play. 12 am past, he did called me but i didn't accepted, because i didnt know. and then , he entered our room, and don't know why, he became the victim. Kept being played by us. And I unexpected that I was punished to hug by him, pull his hair..and the last was.......hmm.. I don't want to say.. hehe...
That night was really a funny and memorable night, although I was worried and quite shy to do so.. but I still want to say sorry to him. Hope you don't mind it... =)
First day of trip, ended.
Only by SeCretPinki__________Xian Sunday 15/12/13 10.00pm
Saturday, December 14, 2013
✖眼泪✖
坐在椅子上，听着对面的人所说的话....
不知何时，眼眶布满了泪腺上流出来的酸酸又甜甜的泪水。
毫无声音的、慢慢的、无次序的持续流下她的脸颊..
渐渐的，原本清晰的视线顿时模糊了...
这是第几次她哭了？
虽然不是哭得稀咯哗啦的，却也让她有种很疲惫的感觉。
静静地流下眼泪，她好疲惫...
疲惫得一句话也不想说，就这样安静的想着、听着、看着…
不是因为她不理会身旁的人所问的问题，而是她已经不知道该怎么回答了。
她只能坐在那，让她的思路不断的持续着，找着究竟有什么办法让她可以逃离黑暗的世界？
原本明确的路，因为经济上的问题，让她向往的未来，毁了。
曾开心的期待着未来，但是当下的她再也没有幻想未来的感觉。
现实中的生活并没有想象中简单。
她知道，大家劝她、给她的意见，都是为了她好，但是她真的好希望她可以自由地作出自己的选择。
她多么的希望自己可以抛开一切阻挡她未来的障碍，奔向属于自己的世界。
可是，她不能这样做。她不可以那么自私，更不可能让自己的自私把别人的未来破灭。
如果因为她想得到的未来，而牺牲了另外两个人接下来的下半辈子，即使有一天她成功了，她也不会开心，更加无法快乐的度过接下来的每一天。
虽然她曾一度的认为也恳求着，让她再自私一次吧，可是每当一想到后果，她便再也无法继续下去。
哭，解决不了问题。这，她知道。
可是能不能就让她再放任一次的哭？
这是最后一次她哭了，因为懦弱解决不了任何问题。即使哭得眼睛都肿了，问题还是存在着。
他说的并没有错，她也知道生活上遇到的挫折很多。如果因为人生的第一步就放弃了，那17年来过的生活不就变得没意义了吗？
她曾妒忌着身边的人，抱怨着上帝对她的不公平，可是换另一个角度想，这或许是上帝给的
其中一个考验？
她理解了，虽然还未完全放开，可是至少她有着些许的正确想法。
她，不会放弃，永远都不会放弃。
人生中的计划其实有很多，如果第一个计划无法实现，我们还有B计划可以进行啊。
上帝不会给我们一条死路，总有很多路可以让我们选择，既然发现前往的路是一条死路，为何不选择转身，走回原点再向别的路出发呢？
路是人走出来的，
这一句突然出现在她的脑海里，
让她想通了。
既然第一个计划接近失败的阶段，那她应该准备更多的计划。
虽然B计划的路比较坎坷，会很辛苦，但这总比选择自己不想要的来得更好。
信心飙升，眼泪停了。
她，不哭了。
软弱不会促使自己成功，只有坚持才是光明的天使。
她，确定了，选择自己从未想过的一条路。
希望，那一条路可以带领着她走向光明的未来。
愿她成功！
Only by SeCretPinki______________sunday 1.34am midnight 15/12/13
不知何时，眼眶布满了泪腺上流出来的酸酸又甜甜的泪水。
毫无声音的、慢慢的、无次序的持续流下她的脸颊..
渐渐的，原本清晰的视线顿时模糊了...
这是第几次她哭了？
虽然不是哭得稀咯哗啦的，却也让她有种很疲惫的感觉。
静静地流下眼泪，她好疲惫...
疲惫得一句话也不想说，就这样安静的想着、听着、看着…
不是因为她不理会身旁的人所问的问题，而是她已经不知道该怎么回答了。
她只能坐在那，让她的思路不断的持续着，找着究竟有什么办法让她可以逃离黑暗的世界？
原本明确的路，因为经济上的问题，让她向往的未来，毁了。
曾开心的期待着未来，但是当下的她再也没有幻想未来的感觉。
现实中的生活并没有想象中简单。
她知道，大家劝她、给她的意见，都是为了她好，但是她真的好希望她可以自由地作出自己的选择。
她多么的希望自己可以抛开一切阻挡她未来的障碍，奔向属于自己的世界。
可是，她不能这样做。她不可以那么自私，更不可能让自己的自私把别人的未来破灭。
如果因为她想得到的未来，而牺牲了另外两个人接下来的下半辈子，即使有一天她成功了，她也不会开心，更加无法快乐的度过接下来的每一天。
虽然她曾一度的认为也恳求着，让她再自私一次吧，可是每当一想到后果，她便再也无法继续下去。
哭，解决不了问题。这，她知道。
可是能不能就让她再放任一次的哭？
这是最后一次她哭了，因为懦弱解决不了任何问题。即使哭得眼睛都肿了，问题还是存在着。
他说的并没有错，她也知道生活上遇到的挫折很多。如果因为人生的第一步就放弃了，那17年来过的生活不就变得没意义了吗？
她曾妒忌着身边的人，抱怨着上帝对她的不公平，可是换另一个角度想，这或许是上帝给的
其中一个考验？
她理解了，虽然还未完全放开，可是至少她有着些许的正确想法。
她，不会放弃，永远都不会放弃。
人生中的计划其实有很多，如果第一个计划无法实现，我们还有B计划可以进行啊。
上帝不会给我们一条死路，总有很多路可以让我们选择，既然发现前往的路是一条死路，为何不选择转身，走回原点再向别的路出发呢？
路是人走出来的，
这一句突然出现在她的脑海里，
让她想通了。
既然第一个计划接近失败的阶段，那她应该准备更多的计划。
虽然B计划的路比较坎坷，会很辛苦，但这总比选择自己不想要的来得更好。
信心飙升，眼泪停了。
她，不哭了。
软弱不会促使自己成功，只有坚持才是光明的天使。
她，确定了，选择自己从未想过的一条路。
希望，那一条路可以带领着她走向光明的未来。
愿她成功！
Only by SeCretPinki______________sunday 1.34am midnight 15/12/13
Friday, December 13, 2013
✖毕业前、后✖
毕业前，我
总是想着有多久我才能毕业？
多久才能脱离政府的评估考试？
多久才能奔向我自己向往的未来？
多久才能自由的做每一样想做的事？
多久才不需要每天与不喜爱的科目约会？
我为了一些事苦恼了很久很久，
可是只要想着、倒数着、等着...
就会非常想要好好地度过毕业前的每一天。
就在这２０１３，中五也即是中学生涯的最后一年，
突然在生活中有了很大的变化。
不知何时，社交广泛了，人际关系变好了，认识的朋友多了。
渐渐的，我开始将自己改变，让自己变得更好，变得让每个人觉得我其实很容易相处。
对，或许对每个人来说，其实我可以很容易相处，但有时候我会让人摸不透脑子里究竟想什么？我承认自己是一个很奇怪的人，不止性格古怪，脾气也很不稳。
在每个人面前都有不一样的一面，这....就是我。
没想到，短短的两年，我认识了，了解了，学到了，成熟了...
开始对一些朋友敞开心胸，把隐藏在心里的秘密，一个一个的脱口而出。
或许朋友们会觉得我有时候很烦，有时候莫名的EMO，有时候会做出让人意想不到的事。
但是当你看见我的每一面....我只会对你说
：恭喜你，认识到真正的我，但却又不是真切的我。
毕业前，我总是希望着每一个朋友，都能永远的在毕业后把我记在心里，因为我对朋友的要求总是不高，平凡就好。
以前的我总是认为，我不需要太多的朋友，只要有一个真正的朋友，生活就可以多姿多彩...
可是，我错了，朋友，不能只有一个因为唯一的朋友并不是只有“你”才是他/她唯一的朋友，他们也有别的朋友，自己的生活...就这样我总是一个人，独来独往的，虽然会有孤单的感觉，不过我会告诉自己，一下子就过了。就这样过了三年，可是最后一年，我特别特别的敏感，特别的不想自己一个人，特别的想有疯狂的感觉，不是因为想法通了，而是我知道，最后一年了，应该快乐的渡过每一天..
很高兴的，在毕业前，我和朋友们都建立了不错的关系，还有...他。
不知为什么，我真的很开心，在我毕业前，可以认识到他，只是我没想过，我会喜欢上一个以往从不接触过的人。是缘份吧？我想，是的。
毕业前几天，几乎跟每个认识的人都有了一张合照，而他的却不多。他很忙，总是不怎么在班上，好不容易有机会了，我便向他要求一张合照，只是当时的我们不知为什么却有种别扭又奇怪的感觉。拿着照相机的ｌｕｍ不断的笑着，身旁的人也不知为何地笑着，让我尴尬极了。不过，我们都不知道他们在笑什么。就这样，有了一张合照。
从去年，我就很想看他跳舞，可是每一次都没有机会。在半年前他举办的第二届吉他演奏会，我也没机会看见他跳舞时的那一段，因为很不巧的我离开座位到科学学会帮忙去了。可是当我忙到一半，突然头头的跑了出来，回到那一间课室。刚巧我回来时，他却跳完了。啊...又再次Missed 了！认为着自己不会有机会观赏他跳舞时，却在毕业前我得到了这机会。5S5的朋友一同到Studio去排练舞蹈。当轮流到他与他的组别一起排练时，我打起十二分精神专著的看着。我其实很佩服他，不需要老师的教导，向朋友学习就可以将舞蹈跳得不错。当轮到我与我的组别跳舞时，说实在的我并不是不想跳，因为我不知道怎样在别人面前跳。我很容易尴尬，很容易的害羞，虽然自己一个人跳时，却会做出通过MV所看到的舞姿。我总是会很随便的在别人面前跳，而且还是面无表情的那一种，这让我很懊恼为什么就不会勇敢一些？
终于，我放胆的跳了，但我不看别人，只看镜子里的自己，尽量不与别人眼神交流，因为我一定会停下所有的动作，不敢跳。
我总是会怀疑自己的能力，然后再跳出来的那一刻我会惊讶得看着自己，原来我其实也可以跳得像他们一样，这让我对自己信心大增。
就这样，毕业的那一天，我过得很愉快，虽然分离但我却没有想哭的感觉？大概我真的成熟了...
毕业后，
我们忙着准备面对我们认为最大的战争，也就是SPM。在那一段期间我们都很忙，没有时间说话、聊天。可是我却不懂为什么总是觉得有一股冲劲让我想去见他的感觉，所以几乎放学时都会跑去找他，即使是一下子也好。
考完试后的我们没有怎么联络，因为不懂怎样找他，找了也不懂该说些什么。
还记得毕业前，朋友们都问我：＂你还不告诉他吗？＂然后我就很有信心的说道：“我会的，但那是毕业后的事，现在专注学业先。” 可是我却没想到，考华语的前几天，我完全没有想要复习的感觉....那时候的感觉很糟糕，让我觉得自己很没用...不过，最后还是不断的鞭策自己读书...还好最后还是读了，确实放心了一些...
就这样，当天考完了华文后，就到了我们5S5 所谓的Party. 那天晚上，我还记得bobo他们不断地催我要我向他告白，可是我却没做到，因为我担心不成功，我们的友谊就变质了。可是最后我还是在毕业旅行时说了。虽然我并没有完全的说出，而且用了另一种方式来表达，然后答案果然如我猜测的一样，我们并没有在一起，只是没想到他在隐约中告诉我，他也喜欢我。 =)
****S5's Friends, Im going to confess everything on you by video, please look up video next time =D
Only By SeCretPinki____Xian 13/12/2013 Friday 10.57pm
总是想着有多久我才能毕业？
多久才能脱离政府的评估考试？
多久才能奔向我自己向往的未来？
多久才能自由的做每一样想做的事？
多久才不需要每天与不喜爱的科目约会？
我为了一些事苦恼了很久很久，
可是只要想着、倒数着、等着...
就会非常想要好好地度过毕业前的每一天。
就在这２０１３，中五也即是中学生涯的最后一年，
突然在生活中有了很大的变化。
不知何时，社交广泛了，人际关系变好了，认识的朋友多了。
渐渐的，我开始将自己改变，让自己变得更好，变得让每个人觉得我其实很容易相处。
对，或许对每个人来说，其实我可以很容易相处，但有时候我会让人摸不透脑子里究竟想什么？我承认自己是一个很奇怪的人，不止性格古怪，脾气也很不稳。
在每个人面前都有不一样的一面，这....就是我。
没想到，短短的两年，我认识了，了解了，学到了，成熟了...
开始对一些朋友敞开心胸，把隐藏在心里的秘密，一个一个的脱口而出。
或许朋友们会觉得我有时候很烦，有时候莫名的EMO，有时候会做出让人意想不到的事。
但是当你看见我的每一面....我只会对你说
：恭喜你，认识到真正的我，但却又不是真切的我。
毕业前，我总是希望着每一个朋友，都能永远的在毕业后把我记在心里，因为我对朋友的要求总是不高，平凡就好。
以前的我总是认为，我不需要太多的朋友，只要有一个真正的朋友，生活就可以多姿多彩...
可是，我错了，朋友，不能只有一个因为唯一的朋友并不是只有“你”才是他/她唯一的朋友，他们也有别的朋友，自己的生活...就这样我总是一个人，独来独往的，虽然会有孤单的感觉，不过我会告诉自己，一下子就过了。就这样过了三年，可是最后一年，我特别特别的敏感，特别的不想自己一个人，特别的想有疯狂的感觉，不是因为想法通了，而是我知道，最后一年了，应该快乐的渡过每一天..
很高兴的，在毕业前，我和朋友们都建立了不错的关系，还有...他。
不知为什么，我真的很开心，在我毕业前，可以认识到他，只是我没想过，我会喜欢上一个以往从不接触过的人。是缘份吧？我想，是的。
毕业前几天，几乎跟每个认识的人都有了一张合照，而他的却不多。他很忙，总是不怎么在班上，好不容易有机会了，我便向他要求一张合照，只是当时的我们不知为什么却有种别扭又奇怪的感觉。拿着照相机的ｌｕｍ不断的笑着，身旁的人也不知为何地笑着，让我尴尬极了。不过，我们都不知道他们在笑什么。就这样，有了一张合照。
从去年，我就很想看他跳舞，可是每一次都没有机会。在半年前他举办的第二届吉他演奏会，我也没机会看见他跳舞时的那一段，因为很不巧的我离开座位到科学学会帮忙去了。可是当我忙到一半，突然头头的跑了出来，回到那一间课室。刚巧我回来时，他却跳完了。啊...又再次Missed 了！认为着自己不会有机会观赏他跳舞时，却在毕业前我得到了这机会。5S5的朋友一同到Studio去排练舞蹈。当轮流到他与他的组别一起排练时，我打起十二分精神专著的看着。我其实很佩服他，不需要老师的教导，向朋友学习就可以将舞蹈跳得不错。当轮到我与我的组别跳舞时，说实在的我并不是不想跳，因为我不知道怎样在别人面前跳。我很容易尴尬，很容易的害羞，虽然自己一个人跳时，却会做出通过MV所看到的舞姿。我总是会很随便的在别人面前跳，而且还是面无表情的那一种，这让我很懊恼为什么就不会勇敢一些？
终于，我放胆的跳了，但我不看别人，只看镜子里的自己，尽量不与别人眼神交流，因为我一定会停下所有的动作，不敢跳。
我总是会怀疑自己的能力，然后再跳出来的那一刻我会惊讶得看着自己，原来我其实也可以跳得像他们一样，这让我对自己信心大增。
就这样，毕业的那一天，我过得很愉快，虽然分离但我却没有想哭的感觉？大概我真的成熟了...
毕业后，
我们忙着准备面对我们认为最大的战争，也就是SPM。在那一段期间我们都很忙，没有时间说话、聊天。可是我却不懂为什么总是觉得有一股冲劲让我想去见他的感觉，所以几乎放学时都会跑去找他，即使是一下子也好。
考完试后的我们没有怎么联络，因为不懂怎样找他，找了也不懂该说些什么。
还记得毕业前，朋友们都问我：＂你还不告诉他吗？＂然后我就很有信心的说道：“我会的，但那是毕业后的事，现在专注学业先。” 可是我却没想到，考华语的前几天，我完全没有想要复习的感觉....那时候的感觉很糟糕，让我觉得自己很没用...不过，最后还是不断的鞭策自己读书...还好最后还是读了，确实放心了一些...
就这样，当天考完了华文后，就到了我们5S5 所谓的Party. 那天晚上，我还记得bobo他们不断地催我要我向他告白，可是我却没做到，因为我担心不成功，我们的友谊就变质了。可是最后我还是在毕业旅行时说了。虽然我并没有完全的说出，而且用了另一种方式来表达，然后答案果然如我猜测的一样，我们并没有在一起，只是没想到他在隐约中告诉我，他也喜欢我。 =)
****S5's Friends, Im going to confess everything on you by video, please look up video next time =D
Only By SeCretPinki____Xian 13/12/2013 Friday 10.57pm
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