Appreciation

I'm always be the one that brave to step forward and confess and I know everytime I confess, the results might not be what I wanted it to be but, if never try, how would I know what are the others think?

I experienced quit e a number of rejections, I know I'm not suitable for them or let them have the strong feeling of getting me as their partner, so I accept whatever I had faced. I know to control the feeling of rejection is not an easy job, but I conquered and getting stronger.

I was once told myself that I will never ever take up the steps to confess again after so many rejections that experienced, but the only person that break my rules again, is him, my naughty panda.

I would say that he is the first and the only one that make me crazily and bit out of control of my mind for most of the time and he gave me a strong feeling that, if I don confess, I don't think i can over the feeling. So, after long consideration, I tried. But yeah, at first the answer was expected, rejection and I was trying to accept it. Because of his openness and the way he treat me, I feel I shouldn't give up yet.

Therefore, the feeling was continue for quite sometimes until the end of last year, I wanted to end up my feeling because I fell too deep until I couldn't control my emotion at all. Surprisingly, the outcome was unexpected when I confess for third time after my 21st birthday and unconsciously, we get together.

Everything happen out of the moon and I realized after going through this few months, the bond is getting stronger and stronger. I love the feeling when you come beside me or when you walk towards me as I know I'm your priorities. And you too, become my priorities after my family. Everything I planned, include you and I wish I can be part of your life in the future. Love you, my dear panda. QM ♥

不要否定自己的心意

2年没写部落格了。

这一次的更新，只想说自己终于找到了最合适的对象。

他，我专属的熊猫，是一位我从没想过自己会喜欢上的人。和以往一样，依然是自己主动去告白，不过这对象特别不一样，很特别。

我曾告诉过自己，再怎么喜欢一个人，也不能莽莽撞撞的行动，可是现在的他却总是让我破例。本身都不敢相信自己会如此的痴情，甚至在大考期间会不间断的想起他。这才让我发现，原来真正疯狂的喜欢一个人，是如此的感觉。

我的闺蜜总是告诉我：“别那么容易就喜欢上一个人，吃苦的是自己。” 

说这些都是为了要让我自己想清楚才踩踏出那一步。每一步都特别不掉以轻心。

实话实说，他这只熊猫呢，我也不知自己是如何缠上的。

刚开始是因为想认识他的另一个朋友，后来才发现原来他们是同班的，这反而让我更容易的了解他们啦。可毕竟我和他们不同科系，想见面聊天也不容易。不过缘分总是来得特别不经意，就因为我们都加入了同一个程序，才有更多交流的机会。

他，给我的第一个印象是：这人怎么长的像另一个人，而且特别喜欢戴帽子，成天穿的黑漆漆的，就那么喜欢搞神秘吗？ 或许是因为他这样的穿着，让我留下了特别深刻的印象。而很巧的，当我开始注意起这一个人时，很意外的他竟然愿意和我聊起天来，我们还一同去吃晚餐，而且我们才认识不到一天，就可以斗嘴了，这让我非常讶异，但也成了我们留给对方的最初印象。

以友谊的身份，就这样开始了我们的缘分，并且发展到我曾妄想的关系，他，是我最珍贵的缘分，希望就这样持续并发展到未来。想你了，我的熊猫。

Written by _ Carrie  on 4th August 2017 at 11.17pm 

斗志，梦想，X奇

说：这辈子，或许真的很难找到一个很爱你，你也爱他的人。如果无法遇见你所说的那一个人，那不就必须孤独终老?

不知是庆幸还是不幸，很有缘的在朋友的朋友下得知占仆一年里的缘分。
第一张卡显示的是斗志。
虽然他说的头头是道，可我却不懂怎么形容。总觉得牌里怪怪的，但第一张就像他说的一样，斗志。。。。。在第一张，我就想到他了。为何他总是会不间断的出现在我的脑海里？是错觉吗？

而梦想呢，是发生在现在的时候吧！总是会幻想与某某人在一起会发生的情况，但总会在刹那间感觉作恶，就会赶紧停止幻想。或许是整整19年都没有一段真正的感情，所以感到特别空虚吧？....

X奇；不是我特意要写“X" ，只是我不懂那一个字怎么念。不过，最后一张却是我最不想发生在我身上的一张。谁喜欢自己去追求他人啊？我觉得我在这一方面的经验已经很充足了。总是在身后追着一个人跑，真的很累耶！没想到占卜上的结果尽然让我遇见一个爱情白痴，而却必须要我主动才可以化成爱情的动力.....我无法想象未来的那一个人，会是怎样的一个人，竟然会让我再次主动？

有时候想起自己厚着脸皮跟随着你想接触的对象，真的觉得自己好强大，勇敢。可是，现在我长大了，我累了。我是女生，有自己的矜持，有自己的特色，为何我还要花费力气追随那一段感情？

或许我的未来，真的必须像占卜上的结果一样，打动那爱情白痴，不然就是再多一年的单身生活也不例外。 想必被我追随过的那些人，真的很有魅力吧？

无论如何，依然还是等待着能打动我，也能被我打动的那一个人，只要他从我脑海中消失吧....

By SecretPinki on 8th of April at 11.12pm

Weakness

Weakness?
What is weakness?
Weakness can lead us to the path of strength.
Weakness could make you mad toward life.
Weakness , Is strong enough to kill your mind.

Human are born with two side,
Strength and Weakness.
Strength is kind of courage while Afraid is one of the weakness.

What do human afraid of?
What do I afraid of?
The feeling of afraid...even I couldn't explain, could you?
Friendship, Family...
All about relationship, the weakness I faced.

I'm bad in social, but still I keen to make friends.
Just Friends, Not close, not far, not strange. Enough.
I dislike to be too close, but yet , I dislike to be further.
It's Funny , Right?

Everyone have their own weakness, they cover it deeply and you might find it one day if you discover further enough.
Even friends are close, still, don't even step on their weakness, no matter how close the relationship is , something might happened.
So, that's why I do not want to be that close with friends, even girls are not that close, how could be guys close with me? You'll never know what's on their mind..

I've watch a few movies recently.
I realized how much a girl can lost their humanity due to their love toward a guy. Obviously, the guy was her weakness. She can die in order to save his life. She can be a murderer , to protect him. Because he is the only hope, only dream for her.
Do you realize how does the weakness lead to powerful ?
It was scary, and out of control.

Weakness,
The only thing that you couldn't ignore.

One month + 2 days to go.

Only Written by Carrie _____ SecretPinki        Friday 8.37pm 26/12/2014