Weakness

Weakness?
What is weakness?
Weakness can lead us to the path of strength.
Weakness could make you mad toward life.
Weakness , Is strong enough to kill your mind.

Human are born with two side,
Strength and Weakness.
Strength is kind of courage while Afraid is one of the weakness.

What do human afraid of?
What do I afraid of?
The feeling of afraid...even I couldn't explain, could you?
Friendship, Family...
All about relationship, the weakness I faced.

I'm bad in social, but still I keen to make friends.
Just Friends, Not close, not far, not strange. Enough.
I dislike to be too close, but yet , I dislike to be further.
It's Funny , Right?

Everyone have their own weakness, they cover it deeply and you might find it one day if you discover further enough.
Even friends are close, still, don't even step on their weakness, no matter how close the relationship is , something might happened.
So, that's why I do not want to be that close with friends, even girls are not that close, how could be guys close with me? You'll never know what's on their mind..

I've watch a few movies recently.
I realized how much a girl can lost their humanity due to their love toward a guy. Obviously, the guy was her weakness. She can die in order to save his life. She can be a murderer , to protect him. Because he is the only hope, only dream for her.
Do you realize how does the weakness lead to powerful ?
It was scary, and out of control.

Weakness,
The only thing that you couldn't ignore.

One month + 2 days to go.

Only Written by Carrie _____ SecretPinki        Friday 8.37pm 26/12/2014

Hold Tight · Missing.

If there is someone appear in your life,

try not to let them go away from your life, 

If you realize you need them more than what you expected,

let them stay. 

You'll never know how much you rely on them, 

How much they're mean to you. 

Until the day you found...

Strangers, Friends, Family and.. The LOVES.

How are you going to value all of them together? 

You Can't. 

No matter how long you couldn't meet, couldn't chat, 

still, you will found that how much you miss the one you care the most before. 

Admit, I miss it. 

How should a girl and guy be friend as usual after they broke up ? 

It's possible ? Yeah, it's possible for me, maybe, but not for others.

I had never started a relationship, and yet, it remain as friendship. 

Every time I got the chance to chat, I was worried but still, I love it. 

You will get more happy when the one find more topic to chat more with you. 

I've learnt not to care too much, as long as the care is lesser, your hope will be lesser and yeah, you will be happy.

Never expect what the one going to give, because you will be surprised by their action. 

He reminded me, how much I miss my secondary life. How much I miss the moment we smile at each other. 

Loves are wonderful, Friendship are much better.

Hold tight, the missing one. 

It ain't let me forget the memorable moment. 

Hold Tight. Everything in my life. 

Only By Carrie ________ SeCretPinki    Monday  22.12.2014   11.14pm 

我，还未长大？

接触了不一样的人，认识了不一样的事物。
自从离开了拉曼，就没有回去的想法。
回去也只不过是想见见我在那认识了才两个月的朋友。
可是懒惰的性格，让自己又想找些理由延迟以和人约定好的约会。

我经常会问自己，是不是很难与人沟通？
是不是只是表面上和他们很好？
我不知道，也不想知道。
我发觉，平时很要好的，我都不会经过电话联络，或者应该说是我不会和他们联络。
是因为关系不要好吗？谁懂？

现在的朋友，大多都让我感到很空虚。
但不能怪他们，只能怪自己的性格很奇怪。
很可笑的，我喜欢交朋友，但有时在一些场合遇见他们，我就不会自动和他们打招呼，理由一是懒惰，二则是别扭。很怪吧？

现在大学的朋友对我感到好奇的就是为什么我大多都只参与男性朋友？
这样的一个问题，我也问了自己很多次。为什么？
或许认为男生比较容易接触吧？也或许是因为我现在认识的男性朋友都是很用功的....
我个人也很好奇，为什么我就那么喜欢和男性交朋友？
其实也很担心我不再像个女孩子，没有女孩子应该有的性格。

我永远也忘不了哥哥对我说的话。
女孩子应该要有女孩子的样子。
前几天就和朋友一起外出走街，在此刻我发现自己真的很不像女孩子。
我对每一个品牌都不认识，对他们更加不感兴趣。
当朋友问我那一个比较好时，我只是站在一旁不说话，因为我懂自己的看法和别人不一样。
当时就让我无法了解的是为什么每一位女生都可以为了化妆品，而让自己辛苦赚来的钱花费在这些物品上呢？我毫无头绪，是我还未长大吗？

或许吧，
朋友都经常这么形容我。
有一次，
我只是以英文问了朋友明天有来大学吗？
就惹得他们每个大笑，有些还捧腹大笑。当时的我只有疑问，心里还想着：搞什么？就一句话，能让他们全部都笑开了？难道我说错话了吗？
无奈啊...

何时，我才能长大呢？

Only written by Carrie __________ SecretPinki        Sunday 21.12.2014  10.54pm

Life In Taylors

Everyone was so curious about why AM I change to study in Taylor instead of continue my accounting in TARC ?
haha..
Because I got the opportunity to change back my real path.. Science..  I like in much if compare to business.

I will never forgot what he had said :" you really suit to study science, can see you like science much , obviously."
Yeahh, study science is what i want. That's true.

I've just started my Taylor's University life for two weeks, tomorrow will be my third week and I dont have much time to keep on playing coz there will be a lot of test, quiz ,exam coming time by time. I'm going to be stressed much.

My friends had told me : " if u study in Taylors, u might be teased by others or looking down by others. Why? because they're rich."
Yeah, Definitely right, coz taylors are rich people. They won't worry how much they spend. But for me, I will cry for it. coz too much already.. we need to spend, too much. It's very bad. >.<

Alright, study in Taylor you need to think wisely and manage ur expenses. =)


Only By Carrie_________SecretPinki        Sunday 17/8/2014 1.25pm

2 months life in TARUC.

The first step in Tarc, I don't even think of changing college in this short period of time. I've planned to study for 5 years at TARUC, but now, I only studied for 2months+ not even 3 months, I had already changed mind few times. Not really because of this place, but the course.

Yeah, I knew accounting course at Tarc is very famous among Malaysia, but I don't like account and business course seriously. Fortunately, I got a message to go for Taylor's interview. And I got the scholar! Although it's 100% of scholarship but it really - lot of tuition fees. And I got the chance to study back my real path.. Science courses.

During this 2 months+ of study in Taruc, I met lot of friends...from accounting group, dancing group and more..especially after the Element Night, I recognize more friends through dancing, but it's very upset I've to leave them after one week. I met a guy, he love to take selfie which is RockFord. Besides, still met MenFord who love to dance girl style and very keen into it. After that, I also met WaiKin, who're quite good with me. He is same group B with me, also study under accounting..but..I had to leave them..In short period of time, I met lot of friends. They make me feel such appreciate my life. Thanks for becoming my classmates, my dancing friends, and also..my friends =) It's great to meet you. Wish you all the best and also.. wish me all the best. =)

They were my DAC Group 17's classmates.

Glad to be yours Class Rep..

Nice to meet you..Really.. =) 

The guy behind, My ex-senior from Science Club. 

It's so great to meet him before I leave Taruc. 

He always supporting me, thanks my dear friend! =) 

All the best in your life and stay healthy! 

They, my Ex-classmates.

Who always show me their care as friends.

I couldn't believe before I left Taruc, 

some of them would like to drive from klang to setapak just to have dinner with me.

btw, too, thanks my ex-monitor.

He should be leaving after class, but he stay just to had the last dinner together at setapak. 

Thank you guys! 

I really really appreciate you guys much! 

Love you~! =D 

Only by Carrie___________SeretPinki        wednesday 23/7/2014 5.03pm

感恩 · 最后一个决定

好不容易，
熬了半年一个月，
我...
终于定下来了。

自从我毕业后，
不止自己的烦恼增多了，
父母亲也为了我，烦得睡一觉都觉得是奢侈的。
眼看着他们的黑眼圈越来越明显，
爸爸的白头发越生越多，头发也变得稀少了。
不知觉的为他们感到心疼。

为何我就这么不孝？
总是会埋怨上帝为何让父母不断替我担忧，
自己的未来依然是模糊的。
听见母亲对我说：“都半年了，你依旧还是徘徊着，何时能到岸啊？”
好不容易的，
终于定了，Taylor's University , 将是我未来必经的旅途。
感谢爸妈愿意让我选回Science.
毕竟个人认为自己并不属于生意的世界，太复杂了。
还是科学好。
虽然我知道科学会很难，可是毕竟是自己喜欢的，再怎么难都不要紧吧？
只要自己一直一直的努力，我相信，我可以帮父母省下钱的！
加油，我可以的！

感恩父母，感谢上帝，感谢朋友的支持....

Only by Carrie _______ SeCretPinki    14/7/2014   11.54pm

渴望

生活上的琐碎时常让人感到厌烦....
好不容易的做了最后一个选择，
继续我从未喜欢过的会计，
或许并不是因为真的讨厌它，
或许只是对他的了解并不深，
所以才会对它反感......

可是，当自己渐渐发现对四周都熟悉了，
对它也慢慢习惯了，
虽然它依旧让我毫无头绪，
可是，我觉得它或许能帮助到我的未来。
未来，或许会因为它的存在而变得光芒。
深深地信任着。


对他，不但只有深深的怀念，
而且非常的渴望能再次与他见面。
快要一个月了，
他过得如何？
还习惯吗？
有时候遇到问题时，
第一个人出现在脑海中的是他，
可是他似乎很忙，
而且.......我也发现，他慢慢地不再关注我，
虽然会有几成的感伤，
可是每个人都有自己的生活，
或许现在我们都忙碌着，
可是我相信，如果真的真的有缘，
我希望我们还是可以相见，
真的，

我很想你，
Mr.H.


Only By SeCretPinki___________Carrie             Tuesday         3/6/2014          10.47pm

✖Questions✖

We're back to our own life.

We graduated and doesn't meet up anymore. 

I was definitely feel like want to meet you one day. 

Just once. 

Do you believe why I will go TARUC to continue my study ? 

Why would I change from science to business? 

Would you like to know?  

haha..

I heard and saw a lot of people like to tell their truth on the April fool day. 

Why? 

Because this will be more easier for all of them to change the topic. 

But, I not dare to do so. 

I knew what's the reason you didn't want to be with me but.. 

it can be solve right? 

I do hope I will be busy now, 

so i won't think too much during the boring + free times. 

I did hope I could like you, playing the music and doing things you like. 

What about we meet up one day? 

I miss you now.. 

Only by Carrie_______SeCretPinki                  13/04/2014            Sunday         1.58pm

✖你...会失眠吗?✖

你会失眠吗？

我已经失眠有几个礼拜一上了....

突然想起毕业后的我们，见面的次数真的真的少了很多...

当他问起我：“怎么不早你出来呢？”

我想着，为什么？因为...我还无法自己驾驶吧？好像你，虽然只隔了一个礼拜。
想起你当时抱歉的样子，很好笑但也很可爱。
为什么你每次都会让我笑啊？

而且...想起今后我们两个人都走上不同的路，会变得怎么样？unthinkable

你，选择了商业，而我却选择了会计。
改次，我们的话题会不会越变越少？

能不能，想姐姐她和他男朋友一样关系越变越好呢？
不懂耶...突然好想你，
怎么办？

谢谢你，给我的鼓励。我会积极的。 =)


Only by Carrie_______SeCretPinki.        Sunday  2.06am.           06.04.2014

✖18岁的我们✖

三月尾了，好快的就要愚人节了。
已经离营一个礼拜的她，还处在于模糊的人生阶段。
下一步，该往哪儿走？ 她无法跨前一步。
深怕自己踏出那一步便会后悔。

十八岁的天空不再像十七岁一样可以自由的享受校园生活，每天埋头读书，或者与朋友们一同欢乐。
十八岁，取得成绩后就是决定未来的路。
若选择对了，前途无量，但是选择错了，必须从新开始，花费的金钱、时间是无法赚回来的。

十八岁，是青少年最快乐的时光，
但在选择之际，却必须慎重考虑。

她的未来，还无法自己做决定。
有时候，她会埋怨自己，为什么不独立些？为什么不大胆一点？

有太多的事一窝蜂的出现在她的视线。
她，十八岁了，想做的事却无法擅自决定。

有很多事物，人际关系，都是她无法猜测的…
尤其是那一句话，明明她知道那句话的意思，却欺骗自己，自我安慰。
不过事实就是事实，她无法改变。

得了，她必须接受，即使那一晚，开心和伤心参杂在一起。
不过，她不放弃，不会轻易被打败，她，还是会等待，耐心的等待自己最想得到的答案。


Only By SeCretPinki_____ Carrie      Tuesday.   25.03.2014.   5.56pm

✖Serious?✖

She told me, don't take everythings seriously, because in the end, the one being hurt are yourself.

She was right.
I get hurt after that.
I take the friendship seriously and i thought it will be the good and memorable frienship for me after I used to it.
But few days later, I found out I was the only one who took the friendship seriously.
Since I being ignore more than one times,
My heart was sink.
I don't even know what to do and what must be show by me during those few days.

I stay Emo, smile lesser and tried to take everythings as simple as I can do.
But, I can still feel alone and being Ignore.
I dislike that, but what can I do?
I don't know how to end the feeling of it.

Being a little child with her was fun.
I like to stay with her too, but, I don't think she has the same mind as mine.



Only By SeCretPinki_____Truth                     21/2/2014             11.24am.

✖Life In NS✖

I had started my NS life since 5 of Jan 2014.
Counted, 25 days I stay there.

During the first week, I was suffering there,
but soon, I get used to it.
I get used to bath in the toilet,
sleep on the bed that I don't really like.
Wake up as early as I can.
Meet lot of friends too.

Because of the smaller size of me, I being called as "mei mei"
Friends keep calling me "xiao mei mei", because they said I look like a kid with small size body.
Well, Just let them be then, as long as they think it is fun and I enjoy too.

Besides, I also name myself as "X" just because Malay's friends can't speak my name well.
I doesn't feel alone much in NS, maybe just because of accompany by friends. =)

on the 26th of Jan 2014, my new friends which came from selangor and N.Sembilan, had celebrate my birthday with ah kaw's one with a fruit cake. The taste of cake is nice and I feel so warm when I saw the cake and their smile.

I was touch, but I didn't cry. First time I never cry by touching, mayb because I knew it ? Yeah, I think.
After taking photo with them and finish the cake, I back to dorm with friends.

I called him, as I was free and just finish my phone call with my mother.
Maybe because he found out my birthday is coming, he decided to sing Birthday song for me, although he did wish me happy birthday before.
I was really really feeling happy and much more warm when he sing the song :" happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you~ happy birthday to hui xian~ happy birthday to you..."
Yeah, I was really happy and I can feel I smile a lot when he sing it. although I can't listen so clear as the line was so bad, but I can feel it....I really miss him so much..Much more than I expected.. how about him?

Ask a lot about his life in NS and get to know more about NS.
It's right, It can be fun after we get used to it. Just I don't really like to kawad under the hot sun, because of the sunshine, my skin colour turn darker. hate it. =(

But since he keep tell me that It's fine to turn darker, then, I feel better. Yeah, Thanks for him. I hope He enjoy much in NS too! Really hope to see him soon, but this chinese new year I am going to miss him much, as he said he isn't free as all of us only have 4 days holiday or can say as 3 days ba.

Well, Happy Chinese New Year to everybody, and Thank you very much to all my friends that celebrate my birthday with me. and my family too! thank you so much!

Birthday cake from my lovely family <3 nbsp="" p="">

Thanks <3 nbsp="" p="">

Only By SeCretPinki______Truth     Thursday       30/1/2014       11.37pm

Because I miss you ----- Jung Yong Hwa

The same sky like always, the same ordinary day

The only difference is that you're not here

I want to smile, pretending to have forgotten everything

Pretending It's nothing

I want to live smiling

Because I miss you, because I miss you

Everyday I keep calling you alone

Because I miss you, because I miss you

Now I keep calling your name like a habit

Again today

I thought I sent away without any regrets

No, no, I coudn't send you away yet

Because I miss you, because I miss you

Everday I keep calling you alone

Because I miss you, because I miss you

Now I keep calling your name like a habit

Again today

It seems like I'm going to die, what should I do?

I love you, I love you, I love you

Without even saying those words, I sent you away like this

I'm sorry, I'm sorry , do you hear me

Can you hear my late confession?

I love you

Just a song by Jung Yong Hwa. Nice to listen, you may listen it repeatly through my blog..haha. Strong advice to listen it =D

Haha...I guess I am going to miss everythings during the 3 months, Friends, miss me yarh~~ xD 

Only by SeCretTruth ________ pinki            Saturday   4/1/2012        3.08pm

✖Just Normal.✖

轻轻淡淡的一首歌，可以让我们好好的度过一天。

昨晚，她又迟睡了，除了刚开始无法入睡，也是她第一次看书直到半夜三更。

好久没这样了，她心想着。

别人总是疯狂的追着连续剧，而她却相反的追着书里的内容。

那一本书，被存放在箱子里一年了，

终于在她无聊的情况下被翻出来。

总是要将书包扎好才阅读的她，

却越来越懒惰了，想也不想的拆开塑胶袋，立即翻阅。

那本书，是小说。

书的封面，是画出来的，封面上的男孩很面熟，很像一位韩国明星，真的很像。

内容，讲述着一位女生被前男友劈腿，然后认识了一位作家。

内容不多描述，只想说，里面的句子很优美，让她好喜欢。

不过，故事有一点点地像她，只是一点点，她的感觉而已。

终于，她将整本书读完，累了，睡了。

闹钟响，好累，关掉闹钟继续睡（懒虫一个 -.-" ) 

过后，她强迫自己起身，

因为不早了，而且自己答应过人的事却没做到=="

突然，电话铃声响了，不知为何，

她觉得是他。

看见荧幕上的名字，果然。

很惊讶的，没想到他会告诉她今天早上的结果。

内容，让她有一点点的失望，就像信息里的字一样。

打、写、想，

她不说别的，只想了解他现在怎样了，

可是他好像察觉到她的想法，

在接下来的信息里告诉她，自己还不错啊。

骗人，

就知道不想让人担心。

如果，如果她真的有能力，真的好想帮忙。

还有三个月，

三个月过后，真的可以再见到他了。

很期待那一天的到来。

兵役，

很挑战，

还有两天，她就要去兵役了。而他也不例外。

莹，想你的时候，我会打给你。=) 

Only SeCretTruth________Pinki                     03/01/14              Friday        4.29pm

✖First day of 2014✖

On the first day of New Year,

I had a feeling of going to SCM. 

Although I know that my parent might not fetch me go but i tried my best. 

I had ask him to go out, but he couldn't made it.

It's okay for me. Because Of I didn't want to be alone in the shopping mall, 

and there was 3 years more I didn't hang out with my beloved buddies,

So I changed plan and ask Ying and Kiat, but Wkiat can't made it, so left two of us. 

I didn't plan anything, so two of just random moving in the shopping mall, having our dessert at tong pak fu.

We should look for the movie "Frozen" actually, but when we checked the show time, just passed. Mean, while we were having our dessert, The movie was playing. Ahh..we missed it! 

Nevermind, I could watched it with her when I can download the movie. =) 

So, We had nearly spent 1 hour like that and chit chat-ing. 

We had chat every things, friends, lifes, relations and more.

I know, my beloved Ying will follow everythings I want.
Whenever I ask her to go out in field with me, She sure will fulfill what I want. 

And, she went there for the first time, SCM's garden.

We took a lot of photo there. We played ourself. We had Fun.

Smile, Laugh, doing stupid + funny things. Yeah, That were what we should do. 

Because we are still young~! Hehe..=D

Nothing much to describe, it was the most memorable day with her. 

Although we had our first outing after 3 years more ( Sounds pity for us...haha..), but we still can talk, chat and play like buddies! That was what I appreciated, and what she appreaciated too!

Let's have dating next time together again! xD 

Our first photo in 1.1.14 =D 

We didn't spend time together for the last day of 2013,

BUT, we spent together for the first day of 2014.

Best Buddy and Friend Forever! 

Only By SeCretTruth_______Pinki               Thursday   2.1.2014           6.42pm